>> cannibalize corpse to regain HP

The IT DEPARTMENT EMPLOYEE is much bigger than that SPIDER from earlier. Also you don't want to risk waking him up and getting trapped in that purple/pink area all over again.

>> Loot IT body

The IT DEPARTMENT EMPLOYEE himself has nothing.

>> Pick up stapler
>> Pick up paper

Done, although the PINK STAPLER has no ammunition. You also replace the ONE-DOLLAR BILL and the PENNY you were using since the danger's really over this time. (Assumably.)

>> Pick up computer.

The COMPUTER is very bulky and heavy--it won't fit in your INVENTORY! If you want to take it somewhere, you'll have to carry it...

>> Grab bell

Drat, your INVENTORY is full! You leave the BELL where it is.

>> head to CUBICLE

The notion of having to carry this huge thing up five floors of stairs seems very unappealing to you, but you brace yourself for the anaerobic exercise that lies ahead...

>> Write a letter to the editor complaining about the expectations of lugging a computer down the stairs.

That's a good idea. How on earth do they expect you to haul that huge thing up the stairs? Maybe when you get your computer back to your cubicle and all hooked up you could type up a memo. At the moment, though, you're too busy to bother.

>> read INVENTORY NOTE
>> discard INVENTORY NOTE

The SCRAP OF PAPER has something written on it. How odd.
The other side is blank. You discard the SCRAP OF PAPER.