Unsure What To Do In A Situation? Do You Need Advice?

Earl of Tots · **Posted:** September 21st, 2009, 8:56 am

iKermit wrote:

peter wrote:

Ok.. ill cut down my long story. 10 grade-became friends with a 9th grade girl. Talked alot... flirted a bit... maybe she likes me maybe she does... she has a bf... end of the year. 11th grade I start talking to her alot again about a month or two into school. We didnt talk as much as we did before... second semester I had another class with her. We start talking again and start getting closer. She had a boyfriend... breaks up with him... I think..well lets wait about a week or two because she just broke up. She gets another bf..... after like two months she walks into class and shes holding her stomach and says she hurts rly bad...she lifted up her shirt and had a ton of long scratches on her chest\stomach! I was like Fuzzy Bunny

???!?! Her boyfriend likes scratching....and she tells me hes like 22 (she wasnt like this before) She wanted to do her math work out in the hall...(sub that day) and I go with her and we talk and I say...blah blah something along the lines of its really bad that he gets off on doing that stuff...she says I know and shrugs it off... and I didnt know what else to say.. about a month later her boyfriend gets arrested... because shes only 16. She freaks out.. and runs away...-.-... shes caught a week later by the cops and She is out of school for another 3 weeks straight! She comes back and says she was forced into a home thing and is suddenly diagnosed with A.D.D and depression ... I was shocked and could barely respond to that. Ive never thought she seemed depressed and she gets really high grades..A+s...so A.D.D..... anyway Shes back and suddenly she doesnt want to talk really... she sits in class doing nothing...cuts class ect...about a two weeks later she barrows my cellphone and doesnt show up at the end of the day to give me back my phone? She is caught by the cops a week later.. she ran away... is out for another week or so and sees me in the library and apologizes.. she didnt realise she had the phone and explains why she ran away.... then she is back for a few days (june) then runs away again. Now she hasnt been back since then and its two weeks into school... her older sister whos in my grade ran away also... People are school have seen them both but they havent been back :\

I feel really bad that all of this happened. The more I think about how I reacted to the whole situation starting with her boyfriend... I feel like I should of done more... tried to convince her to end it... because it would end badly ect...I dunno I guess it was hard to think when she dropped bombs like that.... Do you guys think I should of done more?

Well you didnt really know she was going to run away, it was out of reach. We cant determine what a person is going to do, but once you saw those scratches, you should have told her parents, or someone with higher authority. Maybe she dropped out of school? Maybe she needs a real friend to talk to...Like you...Have you tried and come in contact with her lately? (I know you posted this Sept 16) Any updates? :\

Sounds a bit like a fruit cake family to me. Anyway, you had no idea this was gonna happen, just leave it alone and put it away. Yea, you'll still feel kinda crappy like "is something I could have done or done differently?" We all get that. Put it away.

adamdamico5 · **Posted:** December 16th, 2009, 1:26 am

Taterman wrote:

iKermit wrote:

peter wrote:

Ok.. ill cut down my long story. 10 grade-became friends with a 9th grade girl. Talked alot... flirted a bit... maybe she likes me maybe she does... she has a bf... end of the year. 11th grade I start talking to her alot again about a month or two into school. We didnt talk as much as we did before... second semester I had another class with her. We start talking again and start getting closer. She had a boyfriend... breaks up with him... I think..well lets wait about a week or two because she just broke up. She gets another bf..... after like two months she walks into class and shes holding her stomach and says she hurts rly bad...she lifted up her shirt and had a ton of long scratches on her chest\stomach! I was like Fuzzy Bunny

???!?! Her boyfriend likes scratching....and she tells me hes like 22 (she wasnt like this before) She wanted to do her math work out in the hall...(sub that day) and I go with her and we talk and I say...blah blah something along the lines of its really bad that he gets off on doing that stuff...she says I know and shrugs it off... and I didnt know what else to say.. about a month later her boyfriend gets arrested... because shes only 16. She freaks out.. and runs away...-.-... shes caught a week later by the cops and She is out of school for another 3 weeks straight! She comes back and says she was forced into a home thing and is suddenly diagnosed with A.D.D and depression ... I was shocked and could barely respond to that. Ive never thought she seemed depressed and she gets really high grades..A+s...so A.D.D..... anyway Shes back and suddenly she doesnt want to talk really... she sits in class doing nothing...cuts class ect...about a two weeks later she barrows my cellphone and doesnt show up at the end of the day to give me back my phone? She is caught by the cops a week later.. she ran away... is out for another week or so and sees me in the library and apologizes.. she didnt realise she had the phone and explains why she ran away.... then she is back for a few days (june) then runs away again. Now she hasnt been back since then and its two weeks into school... her older sister whos in my grade ran away also... People are school have seen them both but they havent been back :\

I feel really bad that all of this happened. The more I think about how I reacted to the whole situation starting with her boyfriend... I feel like I should of done more... tried to convince her to end it... because it would end badly ect...I dunno I guess it was hard to think when she dropped bombs like that.... Do you guys think I should of done more?

Well you didnt really know she was going to run away, it was out of reach. We cant determine what a person is going to do, but once you saw those scratches, you should have told her parents, or someone with higher authority. Maybe she dropped out of school? Maybe she needs a real friend to talk to...Like you...Have you tried and come in contact with her lately? (I know you posted this Sept 16) Any updates? :\

Sounds a bit like a fruit cake family to me. Anyway, you had no idea this was gonna happen, just leave it alone and put it away. Yea, you'll still feel kinda crappy like "is something I could have done or done differently?" We all get that. Put it away.

Yea, the dating a 22 is a red flag that she is damaged goods, dont bother youll get hurt if you dont put it away

Riptide · **Posted:** December 16th, 2009, 6:42 am

Hmmm... What should I do to get rid of a 7 yr problem that would make me shunned for life?

Axeslinger172 · **Posted:** December 16th, 2009, 11:35 am

You would give us a little more detail so we can actually help you, that's what.

Dr Henry · **Posted:** January 13th, 2010, 6:56 am

So... I met a girl at a party and asked her out, really like each other...

Then I find out she is 2 years (and four months) younger than me... I'm 17 in a week and she is 14 until May. I honestly don't know what to do. Any advice?

Landerpurex · **Posted:** January 13th, 2010, 1:24 pm

Dr Henry wrote:

So... I met a girl at a party and asked her out, really like each other...

Then I find out she is 2 years (and four months) younger than me... I'm 17 in a week and she is 14 until May. I honestly don't know what to do. Any advice?

That's when things get dicey, there, doc. If you guys really like eachother though, I see no real reason to break up just because of age. Age is such an issue when we're young, but when you guys are in your thirties no one is going to care that you're 2 years older than her. :?:

I'd stick it out just...uhh....*cough*...be careful. :?:

Dr Henry · **Posted:** January 13th, 2010, 1:33 pm

Yeah, not exactly going to publicise it...

Landerpurex · **Posted:** January 14th, 2010, 12:25 am

I'd watch out in general because whether it's consensual or not doesn't matter, it's illegal until she's X age. You don't want to do something with her then tiptoe around her for fear she's going to turn you in, nor do you want her parents or anyone really to find out...

In all actuality, if I think about it, I wouldn't date a 14 year old when I was 17. But that's me.

Sarah · **Posted:** January 14th, 2010, 4:24 pm

Landerpurex wrote:

I'd watch out in general because whether it's consensual or not doesn't matter, it's illegal until she's X age. You don't want to do something with her then tiptoe around her for fear she's going to turn you in, nor do you want her parents or anyone really to find out...

In all actuality, if I think about it, I wouldn't date a 14 year old when I was 17. But that's me.

dating =/= sex.

Landerpurex · **Posted:** January 15th, 2010, 6:05 pm

Sarah wrote:

Landerpurex wrote:

I'd watch out in general because whether it's consensual or not doesn't matter, it's illegal until she's X age. You don't want to do something with her then tiptoe around her for fear she's going to turn you in, nor do you want her parents or anyone really to find out...

In all actuality, if I think about it, I wouldn't date a 14 year old when I was 17. But that's me.

dating =/= sex.

Thanks for the clarification. :?:

Riptide · **Posted:** January 15th, 2010, 7:18 pm

Umm, Sarah... That was akward. And Axe, the only way is PM. But I'm sorry, this is kinda personal. I need to solve it myself.

Tru Ninja · **Posted:** January 15th, 2010, 7:47 pm

Then why post in a need advice topic?

Henry, I dated a girl who was 2 years younger than me for almost 3 years and it worked out great, after a while there was no real age barrier, girls mature faster than boys.

tru :wink:

Dr Henry · **Posted:** January 16th, 2010, 7:56 am

Landerpurex wrote:

Sarah wrote:

Landerpurex wrote:

I'd watch out in general because whether it's consensual or not doesn't matter, it's illegal until she's X age. You don't want to do something with her then tiptoe around her for fear she's going to turn you in, nor do you want her parents or anyone really to find out...

In all actuality, if I think about it, I wouldn't date a 14 year old when I was 17. But that's me.

dating =/= sex.

Thanks for the clarification. :?:

So that's where I've been going wrong!

I think i've decided that age isn't important. There are bigger age differences with people I know (girl in my GFs year with a guy a year older than me/guy in my year with girl year younger than my GF) and yes, they do mature faster

Tru Ninja · **Posted:** January 16th, 2010, 10:52 am

Glad to hear you got sorted, good luck.

tru

Landerpurex · **Posted:** January 17th, 2010, 2:44 am

Dr Henry wrote:

I think i've decided that age isn't important. There are bigger age differences with people I know (girl in my GFs year with a guy a year older than me/guy in my year with girl year younger than my GF) and yes, they do mature faster

Glad to hear it, Doc!

And rip, we're all friends here so if there's something on your mind, there's no reason not to post it. :?:

Otherwise, I agree with Tru. Don't mention it if it's too personal to talk about. You can feel free to PM me if you'd like to talk without anyone else seeing.

The123king · **Posted:** March 19th, 2010, 2:12 pm

Hehehe, last time i posted here I was talking avout my ex's friends treating me like crap. Two years later things are pretty different.

Seems kinda awkward asking for advice here, but i figures it's the best place to ask...

Some people might know that a few years ago, i had a big bust-up with this girl and shortly after,seeing or talking to her was like trying to eat lemons. Unpleasant. Two years on, i'm her best friend. We get on really well now, and i have quite strong feelings for her again. She knows this (she wormed it out of me a week ago :oops:

) and after a few texts, i believe she feels the same. The problem is, she says we can't get together because her mum will kill me (goes back to the bust-up two years ago). Now i'm stuck in a rut here, do i wait it out until uni, then hope that we go to close uni's and can actually get together, or do i try and see sense ( :laugh:

) and try to find someone else, even though my feelings towards her are stronger than i've ever felt towards someoner, ever, or do you have any better ideas? We're going to the prom (together? not too sure here) on Friday 26th, so if someone could sort of give me some advice before then, i would apreciate it, otherwise i'll stay in my rut and not move from it.

Anyway rant over...

Riptide · **Posted:** March 19th, 2010, 8:14 pm

Do something that'll override the mom's bad feelings. A nice date.

The123king · **Posted:** March 20th, 2010, 10:06 am

Riptide wrote:

Do something that'll override the mom's bad feelings. A nice date.

If it was that easy i would have done it already.

Pyro3000 · **Posted:** April 16th, 2010, 10:08 pm

Where do I find a girl that will let me sit inside her basement all day while I play games and watch anime?

Riptide · **Posted:** April 18th, 2010, 7:18 pm

Bump...
So, there's this girl I like... she's always optimistic, I'm normally depressed. We have a few things in common. But the main thing that tears me apart is how differently we act. I'm normally... energetic, which leads me to saying things I don't mean.(Not to her). She's a good student. And ummm... My unwillingness to push myself... Basically, we're opposites, but I like her. And don't give me that, "I'm too young" crap.

Unsure What To Do In A Situation? Do You Need Advice?

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