The Adventures of Jimmy

Saten Ruiko · **Posted:** September 12th, 2009, 11:44 am

(Original post lost)

>> Leave the BELL on the TABLE to free up some inventory space.

You do so.

>> Go to the CAFETERIA (as an uber-slacking employee, we probably know where it is)
>> Buy some HONEY ROASTED NUTS

You do know that the APEX MICROCHIPS CAFETERIA is on FLOOR 10. You head to the ELEVATORS, go down to FLOOR 10, and come out at the CAFETERIA.

You buy a pack of HONEY ROASTED NUTS, which costs $1.06 (99 cents, plus 7 cents tax.) You hand your money to the CAFETERIA CASHIER. You now have $1.95 remaining.

>> Contemplate the possibility of there being another OTHERWORLDLY LINE

You wonder if there might be another OTHERWORLDLY LINE somewhere. ...Even if there was, you sure don't have any idea where to start looking for it. And your skill at grabbing IMAGINARY OBJECTS is so low that trying to grab that LINE out of your THOUGHT BUBBLE would just be a waste of time.

>> ?

Saten Ruiko · **Posted:** September 12th, 2009, 11:45 am

(Originally posted May 24, 2009)

Oh, another thing: Don't just say ">> Update", that's just spam. I said before I'm not going to let this topic die, heh. If there hasn't been an update in a few days it means I'm busy.

Dr Henry wrote:

You've ruined Jimmy's adventure

Nah, I won't let that happen.

Jimmybe wrote:

Man, this Jimmy guy is pretty cool.

Thanks.

~~~

>> Shoplift an extra pack of peanuts.

You consider this, but your INVENTORY is already full!

>>Throw peanuts at cashier and demand tax money back

The CAFETERIA CASHIER hasn't been anything but nice to you! But in your stubbornness, you demand your tax money back. The CASHIER, of course, refuses, citing that he's just doing his job. You throw your HONEY ROASTED NUTS at the CASHIER, who instead catches them, opens the bag, and walks away while starting to eat them.

You've lost your HONEY ROASTED NUTS.

>> Shoplift an extra pack of peanuts.

Since the situation changed and you now have a free inventory space again, you sneakily grab another bag of HONEY ROASTED NUTS.

>> Go back to office
>> Look for a VTLHRN

You get a sneaking feeling that the VTLHRN is either unrelated to your current escapade or not in your office. You're not sure which. Maybe if you knew more about it?

Saten Ruiko · **Posted:** September 12th, 2009, 11:47 am

(Originally posted May 26, 2009)

I'm going to point out a couple of things about the game real quick, please don't be offended if I use your suggestion. ^_^

Players wrote:

>>Go find monsters/insects/employees to fight. You need the exp.
>> If you find him, follow the cashier, and attack him from behind with your bazooka cupholder. (We need to get our level up somehow, don't we?)
>>G0 Spartan mode on the cashier

While The Adventures of Jimmy does seem to have some RPG elements, it's more like a puzzle game; a mock RPG, if you will. If you ever read Problem Slueth on mspaintadventures.com, they do a lot of that where the levels are basically just silly things that mean nothing.

Well, they don't mean nothing here, as leveling up will give you new skills and abilities. But put it this way--Adventures of Jimmy isn't a true RPG. More often than not, you're not going to go looking for trouble, but rather, it'll find you. More on that later. :wink:

Players wrote:

>>G0 Spartan mode on the cashier
>> mortal Kombat w/ cashier
>> loot cashier

Also, this is a good example of getting a little bit ahead of yourself. The IT Boss Battle took several pages, and even that Spider battle took a couple. You're not going to engage an enemy, defeat him, and get the spoils of war all in a single post. :wink:

Onward! (Thanks to Jackstick for helping me with the animation this time. I need to get my own GIF animator, lol.)

~~~

>>Find a way to bend the Otherworldly line into an extra inventory space.

You still can't interact with the OTHERWORLDLY LINE in any way. You might as well forget it's there for now, because it seems to be lodged in your INVENTORY and won't budge.

>>G0 Spartan mode on the cashier

He still seems like a nice guy. You'd rather not bring unnecessary turmoil down upon him.

>>open CASH REGISTER
>> Take ALL monies from the register.

The CASH REGISTER is locked! You can even see the KEYHOLE to access its contents. What is it with this company and using keys for everything? However, you see a FIVE-DOLLAR BILL under the CASH REGISTER. Perhaps the CASHIER forgot to put it in the drawer after a transaction. You greedily take it.

>> leave DIMEQUARTER on COUNTER as a tip (throwing the peanuts and stealing a new bag was pretty rude)

You do that, too. By losing a QUARTER and gaining a FIVE-DOLLAR BILL, you now have a total of $6.70!

On an unrelated note, your MAGIC TAB indicates that enough time has passed, and you have regained 1 MP.

>> investigate other items in the store.

You investigate the CAFETERIA's current selection of four items more closely. LEIS seem to be normal potato chips. The bags of DOORITOS (shaped like a door, no less) appear to be cheesy chips. The HONEY ROASTED NUTS have no exterior markings. You can only see one side of the BOTTLE OF SODA, but you turn it and learn that it is called ANSI.

>>Grab a bunch of those red things in your arms and run for it!

You're more ethical than that (despite having just stolen $5 and a second bag of peanuts.) Besides, you really don't want to get fired.

>> Wonder how long you've been at work today.

You got here around starting time, so probably...an hour, if you had to guess? Maybe less.

>> Contemplate going home.

Your workday isn't over yet! It all comes full circle on that not-wanting-to-get-fired thing.

>> head to Administrative Offices

Unfortunately, you have no idea where the ADMINISTRATIVE OFFICES are located. Perhaps you could figure this out through the use of your COMPUTER?

>> Look at pages 1534 and 1535 of the binder, since they should speak more of employees and vortexes.

Your LARGE BINDER is also in your CUBICLE. You figure that you might as well go there first.

You make a decision to go back to your CUBICLE before doing anything else. And just because you need exercise and/or wouldn't mind a few random encounters, you take the STAIRS.

You climb to FLOOR 11 safely.
You climb to FLOOR 12 safely.
You climb to FLOOR 13 safely.
You climb to FLOOR 14 safely.
You climb to FLOOR 15 safely.

OH SNAP. As you reach FLOOR 16, you see not one, but four quick SPIDERS blocking your path! Are these things breeding or something? They're creepy--there's no way you're passing through this area without dispatching these guys!

>> ?

Saten Ruiko · **Posted:** September 12th, 2009, 12:25 pm

(Original post lost)

>> PANIC.

OH MY GOD SPIDERS AAAAAAHHHHHH THERE'S FOUR OF THEM HELP HELP HELP.

>> Examine spiders

You take a closer look at the four SPIDERS. They don't seem to really be anything out of the ordinary. You once heard a story...something about a 7-legged SPIDER being used to pay a phone bill or something? In any case, all of these SPIDERS have 8 LEGS, and that story's just a story anyway.

>> Pretend to be a spider to gain their confidence

You stretch your ARMS and LEGS out in an attempt to look like a SPIDER. ...Frankly, you're not very good at it. At all. Who do you think you're fooling? The SPIDERS? (You're not.)

>> Shoot one from point-blank range

You pull the blue COLD DISPENSER TRIGGER on your WATERCOOLER CUPHOLDER BAZOOKA and blast a SPIDER, finishing it off instantly. The other SPIDERS suddenly see you has a huge threat, and move in to attack!

>> Evade spiders

Yipe! You jump out of the way of the SPIDERS, but they're closing in on you, and fast!

>> ?

Saten Ruiko · **Posted:** September 12th, 2009, 1:18 pm

(Original post lost)

>> Barter with the rest of the spiders to leave you alone

You try to talk the SPIDERS out of attacking, but they keep closing in on you! Blast it, your BARTERING LEVEL must still be too low.

>> Distract them with the peanuts

You rip open your bag of HONEY ROASTED NUTS and scatter a few of them on the ground. Two of the SPIDERS fall for the BAIT and begin to happily munch away, but the third SPIDER is not fazed and moves in for an attack!

>> Trap spider under cup

You put the red HOT DISPENSER TRIGGER on your WATERCOOLER CUPHOLDER BAZOOKA. It looks like while the blue COLD TAB fires CUPS straight-out, the red HOT TAB fires them with a little bit of a rotation. The CUP spins in mid-air and lands right on top of the final SPIDER, trapping him inside!

He doesn't seem very happy about it.

>> ?

Saten Ruiko · **Posted:** September 12th, 2009, 1:29 pm

(Original post lost)

>> Try to figure out how many cups of ammo you have left

The WATERCOOLER CUPHOLDER BAZOOKA uses ammunition on a stack-based structure: CUPS go in from one end and come out from the same end. There's a plastic cover on the top, so you can't actually see how many CUPS you have. Judging from the weight of it, though, you think there's maybe 2 or 3 left?

>> Finish off the other two spiders

With reckless abandon, no mercy, and the sheer firepower of your WATERCOOLER CUPHOLDER BAZOOKA, two well-aimed shots and two tugs at the COLD DISPENSER TRIGGER leaves the other two SPIDERS dead in their tracks.

>> Use the dead spiders' legs as makeshift staple ammo

Ewwwwwww.

You do it anyway, but still--ewwwwww. The new SPIDER LEG STAPLES are really squishy and don't work in your PINK STAPLER very well, but you managed to make a couple of them fit. For this strange act, you gain 40% ADVERSITY EXP.

>> Pick up the fired cups

You salvage 3 of the CUPS fired from your WATERCOOLER CUPHOLDER BAZOOKA! You reload them into your weapon.

>> Interrogate spider and see who it's working for

You get down on the ground and yell instructions to the SPIDER trapped under the CUP, demanding to know what it's doing here and who it's working for. Your SPIDERESE is really rusty, but you can make out a little bit.

Big field...lots of grass...paradise...people...construction...landscape destruction...new building...air vents...stairwells...dark places...suitable replacement.

...Huh? You don't have a clue what he's going on about, but for attempting a partial translation, you earned 70% LINGUISTICS EXPERIENCE!

>> ?

Saten Ruiko · **Posted:** September 12th, 2009, 1:44 pm

(Original post lost)

>> Use another cup and staples to make a spider grenade

You quickly fire another CUP into your hands and flip over the one on the ground, sticking the other CUP on top of it. You secure the two CUPS with your SPIDER LEG STAPLES...

...and create the SPIDER GRENADE! This baby will (hopefully) unleash a frenzied SPIDER upon whoever's unlucky enough to be on the receiving end of your WATERCOOLER CUPHOLDER BAZOOKA. You gain 30% CONSTRUCTION EXP for creating it. (You're also out of SPIDER LEG STAPLES now, but they were really icky anyway. Good riddance.)

You store the SPIDER GRENADE in the WEAPON SLOT of your INVENTORY TAB. Since your WATERCOOLER CUPHOLDER BAZOOKA works on a stack structure, inserting the GRENADE now means that it would just be the next thing to be fired.

You gained 8 EXP for defeating all four SPIDERS!

>> Head back up to your cubicle and read one page back in the GIANT BINDER

You climb up to FLOOR 17 safely.
You climb up to FLOOR 18 safely.
You climb up to FLOOR 19 safely.
You climb up to FLOOR 20 safely.
You climb up to FLOOR 21 safely.
You climb up to FLOOR 22 safely.

You successfully reach your CUBICLE on FLOOR 23, back from the CAFETERIA, when your GIANT BINDER catches your eye again. You don't like to nonchalantly flip through it, but certainly it wouldn't hurt to see what's on the previous page?

>> Since the middle filing cabinet door is locked, try to kick and force it open

This FILING CABINET sure is sturdy. You can't manage to break the MIDDLE DRAWER open at all. Looks like you'll still need the KEY for it, wherever it is.

>> Check STATS!

Your STATS TAB accurately reflects all of your recent experience gains.

>> Examine your computer desktop

You take a closer look at your COMPUTER'S DESKTOP. The background WALLPAPER is from one of your favorite video games, THE WORLD ENDS WITH YOU.

[Mr. Hanekoma] The world ends at your horizons! Enjoy the momennnnnnnnnt!

Oh, Mr. H, your sage advice is an asset to us all. (You also make a really good cup of coffee!)

There are three icons on your DESKTOP: E-MAIL, where you can send and receive e-mails; MINESWEEPER, a popular game you've been itching to play; and RIDDLES, a file you like to update containing the best riddles you've heard.

Uh-oh! Out of nowhere comes DREDLOCK, your MANAGER. He's not a very fun guy to be around, and sure enough, as soon as he appears he starts berating everything in sight. First he tells you to take down that DILBERT COMIC as it's against APEX COMPANY POLICY to put funny things on CUBICLE WALLS or something. Then he tells you to stop slacking. Then he launches into a tirade because you broke a WATERCOOLER. This guy is so annoying!

>> ?

Saten Ruiko · **Posted:** September 12th, 2009, 1:51 pm

(Original post lost)

>> Comply with DREDLOCK's orders and take down the Dilbert comic

As you reach for the DILBERT COMIC to take it off your wall, you realize that there is something lodged behind it. You decide not to take the COMIC down anymore, just in case whatever is behind it is something you don't want DREDLOCK to see. Or something. He's such a jerk.

>> Bribe DREDLOCK to leave you alone.

It doesn't work! He's just as annoying as ever and now claims you're trying to bribe a MANAGER. Is there any point in having a BARTERING LEVEL if you can't successfully do any bartering...?

>> Accuse DREDLOCK of sexual harrassment. He's get whiny and go away.

No such luck! As soon as you accuse DREDLOCK of sexual harrassment, he launches into another tirade! He claims that he's read every single page of APEX MICROCHIPS COMPANY POLICY, and what constitutes sexual harrassment and what doesn't constitute sexual harrassment and how everything he's doing isn't sexual harrassment and blah blah blah you stopped listening thirty seconds ago.

>> BEGIN ENGAGEMENT

There's only one option left. DREDLOCK's obviously not going to leave you alone, so you'll just have to take the fight to him! It's time to do battle with your NEMESIS--DREDLOCK!

VIEW FLASH ANIMATION

>> ?

Saten Ruiko · **Posted:** September 12th, 2009, 2:10 pm

(Original post lost)

>> Equip QUARTER as shield

You pull out your QUARTER and use it as a SHIELD. It's slightly bigger than the PENNY you used last time, so it should probably be more effective!

>> Slide tackle DREDLOCK

DREDLOCK, expecting a long-range attack right off the bat, is caught off-guard by your SLIDE TACKLE! Alas, you started to slide a little bit too soon, and ended up merely bumping into him. It does a tiny bit of damage.

DREDLOCK whips out weapon of choice, his personal CLOSED CELL PHONE. He blasts you backwards with a signal from it, doing a little damage himself!

>> Ask the magic 8-ball what to do

You give the MAGIC 8-BALL a shake and examine its underside.

Not one to ignore the MAGIC 8-BALL's advice, you quickly cast GRAVITY on DREDLOCK'S DREADLOCKS.

DREDLOCK is caught off-guard as his entire HEAD becomes much heavier than normal!

Perhaps that wasn't the best of ideas after all. For messing up DREDLOCK'S HAIRSTYLE, he gets even more angry than usual. Sure, he's slightly disoriented, but now his overall ATTACK POWER has gone up!

>> Use the SPIDER GRENADE when DREDLOCK gets to half-health.

Excellent idea! This would be a great finishing move.

>> Tell the SPIDER inside the SPIDER GRENADE that DREDLOCK insulted its mother

Ohhhh, man! You sure got that SPIDER riled up. He's still not very happy. You feel sorry for the poor sucker that this SPIDER gets unleashed on.

>> Fire a normal cup at DREDLOCK

Still caught a little bit off-guard, the long-range attack does a bit more damage to DREDLOCK than your SLIDE TACKLE did.

DREDLOCK counter-attacks with his LEVEL 6 CELLTECH: SIGNAL SNARE! His CELL PHONE emits waves that surround you, lift you off the ground, and partially bind you. You're completely helpless and trapped! If you don't do something soon, you're in for a major hit!

>> ?

Saten Ruiko · **Posted:** September 12th, 2009, 2:18 pm

(Original post lost)

>> Ask the magic 8-ball what to do

Oh, you're no help, MAGIC 8-BALL!

>> Fire the bazooka at DREDLOCK

Your hands can't reach the trigger! The SIGNAL SNARE is making it really tough for you to move!

DREDLOCK takes full advantage of your vulnerability!

DREDLOCK raises his arms and leaps toward you with a TARZAN-LIKE BATTLE CRY, bringing his hands down hard and shattering the SIGNAL SNARE. You're unable to defend yourself, and take massive damage! One more hit like that, and you're toast!

>> Eat the honey roasted nuts to regain health

Yum! You down the rest of your HONEY ROASTED NUTS, finishing off the bag but returning you to full HP!

>> SPIDER GRENADE
>> Use the spider grenade
>> spiderrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
>> USE THE DANG SPIDER GRENADE

You'd really rather wait to use the SPIDER GRENADE, but overwhelming voices in your head urge you to go ahead and do it now. You lock and load the SPIDER GRENADE into your WATERCOOLER CUPHOLDER BAZOOKA, brace yourself, and pull the HOT DISPENSER TRIGGER.

The angry SPIDER is unleashed, and DREDLOCK takes massive damage!

>> ?

Saten Ruiko · **Posted:** September 12th, 2009, 2:19 pm

(Originally posted June 11, 2009)

In his haste to get rid of the ATTACKING SPIDER, DREDLOCK flings it off of his arm. For some reason, the invisible ground doesn't affect it, and your SPIDER starts falling forever! What a cruel reality, what a harsh landscape, what a terrible world. Goodbye, dear friend; you will be sorely missed.

DREDLOCK also stomps on your two fired CUPS so that you can't pick them back up. What a jerk.

>> convince them there is bug spray outside the window of the top floor of the building.
>>Throw the giant binder from the top of your cabinet at him.
>>Then proceed to throw the cabinet at him, hoping the middle drawer opens up.

You almost try to convince DREDLOCK about something, but realize that you're not even in the APEX MICROCHIPS BUILDING. You're in some purple/pink a--I mean, blue/cyan area. You also fail to see neither a GIANT BINDER nor a FILING CABINET.

>> Cast HASTE on spider and yell that he's on the one who insulted his mother.

You don't have any MP! You spent the last of it on casting GRAVITY on DREDLOCK'S DREADLOCKS.

>> Throw quarter at DREDLOCK like it's a shuriken.
>>Throw magic eight ball at him

You fling your QUARTER at DREDLOCK!

DREDLOCK deflects the QUARTER with his CLOSED CELL PHONE!

He doesn't, however, see the MAGIC 8-BALL coming, and takes massive damage for being caught off-guard! Nicely done. You do a little "yesss" motion.

>> Offer amnesty to Dredlock if he agrees to become your man servent.

DREDLOCK declines. You're so bad at BARTERING that you wonder if there's even a point to have it displayed as one of your stats.

DREDLOCK uses SIGNAL SNARE on you again!

>> Assume fetal position, if he comes to check you, stuff bazooka cups in his face.

You assume the fetal position, which remarkably allows you to slip out of the SIGNAL SNARE.

DREDLOCK comes up and wonders why you've suddenly given up.

BAM. You pull the COLD DISPENSER TRIGGER and shoot a CUP point-blank into DREDLOCK's face! Once again caught off-guard, he takes a big hit!

...? DREDLOCK flees the scene.

You have won the battle!
For not entirely defeating DREDLOCK, you only gain 15 EXP.
You have reached LEVEL 3!
You gain an unexpected new LEVEL 1 STAT: CHIMERAN.
You don't learn any new SPELLS, but your MAGIC SURPLUS GAUGE splits! You gained an extra MP!

>> ?

Saten Ruiko · **Posted:** September 12th, 2009, 2:20 pm

(Originally posted June 12, 2009)

>> Do a happy dance at chasing him off
>> ring the bell to celebrate your victory

VIEW FLASH ANIMATION

Yesssss! You celebrate your victory over DREDLOCK by doing a reprise of your HAPPY DANCE from earlier with a new move included: BELL RING! (Technically, you didn't win; DREDLOCK forfeited. But that's another story altogether.)

>> Mourn loss of Spider.
>>Swear you will have revenge on Dredlock

The SPIDER's bravery, speed, and tenacity was surely the force that turned the tide of your battle. You hold immense gratitude for its aid against your manager, even to the point where it gave its life, having fallen into the endless void. You shed a tear and silently curse DREDLOCK, swearing that one day you will avenge the SPIDER's death.

R.I.P. CUP-DWELLING SPIDER (2009-2009)

>> contemplate other job options in case you get fired for beating up your boss

You find that the initial apathy for your work that started this adventure is beginning to spread. You're not very worried about job-loss repercussions much anymore. ...That doesn't mean you want to quit, but if you get fired for defeating DREDLOCK...well, it was definitely worth it then, wasn't it?

>>Check ammo count for cupzooka

Again, since there's a plastic top on your WATERCOOLER CUPHOLDER BAZOOKA, you can't tell exactly how many cups are left in it. It's starting to feel really light, though, compared to what it used to be.

>>Pick up 8-ball
>>Ask it what you should do next.

You pick up your MAGIC 8-BALL, mutter "Now what?", give it a shake, and examine it.

Less helpful than usual, it seems.
You put the MAGIC 8-BALL back in your INVENTORY.

>>Examine item Dredlock dropped while fleeing
>> Pick up the green/yellow thing Dredlock dropped.

The item on the floor that DREDLOCK dropped looks like a key. In fact, it turns out to be his MANAGERIAL LOCKER KEY! These are very important--the MANAGERIAL LOCKER ROOM holds all of the managers' most secret stuff! DREDLOCK surely didn't drop this on purpose. If he knew you had this...well, just don't let him know you have this.

You put DREDLOCK's MANAGERIAL LOCKER KEY (it looks like it says LOCKER #118) in your INVENTORY.

>> Remove Dilbert comic to examine the odd bulge.

You peel back the DILBERT COMIC to examine what was pushing it from the other side. It turns out to be a FILE CABINET KEY! You can only assume where this goes to...

>> Try to open second drawer with the key, if it is one.

Bingo! The key actually fits, and the FILE CABINET's MIDDLE DRAWER unlocks and slides open.

The only things in the DRAWER are a KEYBOARD and a MOUSE.

>> ?

Saten Ruiko · **Posted:** September 12th, 2009, 2:21 pm

(Originally posted June 14, 2009)

>> Take Keyboard and mouse
>> Attach to computer.

You do this. You finally have a fully working COMPUTER! Yessss!
You close the FILING CABINET, since it's completely empty now and the open drawers were taking up space.

>>use keyboard as shield
>>Equip Mouse as a Ball and Chain type weapon.

No way! These COMPUTER PARTS are staying here. You spent too much time finding them to just take them elsewhere.

>> Attempt to hack into APEX MICROCHIPS COMPANY BUILDING main files.
>>go to Runevillage.com and annoy Jaron and Hiker.

You're completely limited to the three icons on your DESKTOP: E-MAIL, MINESWEEPER, and RIDDLES.

>> Check Email

It's best to do this now, before you start playing MINESWEEPER for two days straight.

You open your E-MAIL CLIENT and receive 3 NEW MESSAGES.

>> MINESWEEPERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

IT'S TIME TO PLAY MINESWEEPER ONCE AND FOR ALL.

You play many, many games of MINESWEEPER, completely obliterating each one. Man, this is so much fun. You rock at this.

Shoot. Which squares are the mines? Top-left + bottom-right or top-right + bottom-left? There's no way to tell!!

>> proceed to locker 118

You're not sure where the MANAGERIAL LOCKERS are actually located, since you don't have one yourself. Perhaps this would be an excellent time to peruse the new APEX MICROCHIPS HELP SYSTEM?

>> Consider using Dredlock's key in the "administration only" keyhole in the elevator.

DREDLOCK was a low-level MANAGER, definitely not an ADMINISTRATOR. You're fairly certain that the KEYHOLE in the ELEVATOR does not match this MANAGERIAL LOCKER KEY.

Saten Ruiko · **Posted:** September 12th, 2009, 2:21 pm

(Originally posted June 15, 2009)

>> Ask the Magic 8-Ball if the top left and bottom right hold the mines.

You shake the MAGIC 8-BALL while asking it this question.

You get the strange feeling that this game of MINESWEEPER's fate is not pre-determined. Not a person on the planet could help you know which pair of boxes to pick. So what'll it be?

>> Look for a USB port

Your computer does seem to have 2 USB PORTS in the front, but you don't have any need for either of them.

>> Use APEX MICROCHIPS HELP SYSTEM

You pull up the newfound APEX HELP SYSTEM and are greeted by its FIRST-TIME USER MESSAGE.

>> ?

Saten Ruiko · **Posted:** September 12th, 2009, 2:22 pm

(Originally posted June 16, 2009)

I didn't see what was deleted, but seriously, come on guys. :-s On a related note, I don't mind the discussion of commands or debates or anything (especially with clashes over the spider grenade or the Minesweeper box to choose) but keep it on-topic.

Quote:

nub Thyker

I'm not pointing fingers, but comments like this one, which have nothing to do with the game and are more or less insulting someone's idea, will be deleted by me. I love and appreciate your guys' enthusiasm, truly, but keep in mind this is a totally wacky and random game--all suggestions are welcome, they just might not be used.

~~~

>> Search for "minesweeper cheat codes"

You search for "MINESWEEPER CHEAT CODES" on the APEX HELP SYSTEM and receive only a MEMO written a couple of months ago. It appears your overall access to the INTERNET itself is non-existant, so Googling the phrase would be impossible. A pity.

>> Sweat uncontrollably as you right click bottom left.

Each path has a 50% chance of success. You know from experience that MINESWEEPER is totally random. There's no way to know what to do! Today's flawless record hangs in the balance!

You finally make a decision to assume that the top-right and bottom-left squares are mines, and act accordingly, right-clicking the bottom-left square. You are figuratively dying of suspense here!

>>click the top left

HERE IT IS. MOMENT OF TRUTH. EXPLOSION OR VICTORY?

YOU WON! YOU DID IT! Your flawless record continues!
As a reward, you gain 15% CONSTRUCTION EXPERIENCE for successfully (and figuratively) making that minefield safe. ("Why are these mines even HERE?")

You also notice that your BARTERING stat has changed into a PERSUASION stat for some reason. Persuasion encompasses Bartering and more, so it makes sense, you suppose.

>> Search MANAGERIAL LOCKERS location

You search for MANAGERIAL LOCKERS on the APEX HELP SYSTEM and get much better information than last time.

>>Check if there are any cubicles next to yours anyway; you can't have the whole floor to yourself.

It sure looks like you have the whole floor to yourself. ...That's odd.
It might also explain why the place is so quiet.

>> ?

Saten Ruiko · **Posted:** September 12th, 2009, 2:23 pm

(Originally posted June 20, 2009)

>>Push Down wall creating domino effect

The CUBICLE WALLS seem to be placed in a way that pushing one won't make the rest fall. That's probably good, because during a normal workday, they probably shouldn't be falling all over people.

>>Construct CRUDELY BUILT FORTRESS from unused CUBICLES.

An excellent idea!

You take around 13-17 CUBICLE WALLS and turn them into your own little safe haven, the SUPERSPECIALAWESOME CUBICLE FORT OF SOLITUDE. You stretch it across the length of two CUBICLES and give it a ROOF and a DOORWAY!

>> CELEBRATE by moonwalking accross the entire floor. If there are other desks around, dance on them.

Oops, you should have done that before. Now you're all tired out from moving the walls around. Also, you've pretty much demolished the rest of the place...

>>open command prompt and enter "*@[=g3,8d]\&fbb=-q]/hk%fg" then press delete.

Nothing happens. Even if you were expecting something, you probably don't have the right kind of computer.

>> APEX HELP SYSTEM "Apex Help System"

>> APEX HELP SYSTEM "Riddles"

>> Open Riddles.txt

You open the RIDDLES document, which is comprised of some of your favorite riddles of all-time. Other people don't seem to usually like them, but they probably don't have good senses of humor or something. You add the recent riddle given to you by JIMMY EASTREAM to the end of the file.

>>Proceed to floor 24.
>>Search for locker.

You walk up one flight of stairs to FLOOR 24 and reach the MANAGERIAL LOCKERS. You then proceed to find LOCKER 118 and pull out DREDLOCK'S KEY!

>>Open Locker with key.

You use up DREDLOCK'S LOCKER KEY and discard it from your INVENTORY.

What the...DREDLOCK'S MANAGERIAL LOCKER seems to be completely empty. All of that effort for nothing? You find yourself fairly dismayed at this turn of events.

>> ?

Saten Ruiko · **Posted:** September 12th, 2009, 2:24 pm

(Originally posted June 21, 2009)

I need to maybe start locking this during the couple of hours I'm drawing stuff, because the last two suggestions get made in the mean-time and then they never have a chance. >_>

~~~

>> look at door and take object taped to it.

You realize that there's something taped to the bottom of DREDLOCK'S LOCKER DOOR, and grab it.

Sweet, it turns out to be a RED KEYCARD! This looks ominously helpful! If only you knew what it went to...

The RED KEYCARD automatically stores itself on your STATS TAB.

>> Kick every locker angrily and see if they open

You do this (on all except for LOCKER 112), but none of them budge. These lockers are surprisingly high-quality!

>>Steal LOCKER DOOR to use as a door for the SSACFoS
>>Take locker door and use as giant shield

Try as you might, you just can't seem to pry DREDLOCK'S LOCKER DOOR off its hinges! It looks like it's staying put.

>>Hide inside locker. Your hours of playing stealth video games tell you to.

You quickly jump inside the empty LOCKER and close the door behind you, waiting for someone to pass by so that you can get the jump on them. The next person to come in here is in for it! You lie in wait.

...

You continue to wait.

...

No one's coming?

...

Oh shoot, you're locked in!

...

Wait, no you're not.
You open the LOCKER DOOR and step back out.

>> Read note from locker 110.

You pull out the NOTE barely protruding from LOCKER 110, unfold it, and read it.

You put it back.

>> Peer into open locker 112

VIEW FLASH ANIMATION
(Open box below afterward)
Hidden:
You look in LOCKER 112 and see a BLUE LINE resting against the side. As you reach for it, it starts to spin! The second OTHERWORLDLY LINE flies into your INVENTORY, where the two lines become a new corner. You've gained an extra INVENTORY SPACE!

>> ?

Saten Ruiko · **Posted:** September 12th, 2009, 2:25 pm

(Originally posted June 23, 2009)

>> Use BANKAI on Locker 110 and see if there's a blue keycard in it

No matter what you try, the LOCKER DOOR won't open. Besides, it sounds as if the LOCKER's owner is going to be receiving the BLUE KEYCARD at the actual meeting, which probably hasn't happened yet.

>>See if you can find the owner of the note

The owner of the note is, undoubtably, a high-level MANAGER. You probably don't want to be bumping into him/her, because you really have no excuse for being here.

>> Eat some chicken strips

You would, if you had some CHICKEN STRIPS.

>> EAT THE NOTE

What note? *munch munch*

>> Do a backflip

You start doing BACKFLIPS like it's nobody's business. You're pretty good at it, too, so you keep going for a while! What fun!

>> APEX HELP SYSTEM "dataDyne"

First, you head back down one flight of stairs and enter your SUPERSPECIALAWESOME CUBICLE FORT OF SOLITUDE. It's a little bit darker in here than you remember, but that's probably because you have a ROOF now. Your MONITOR gives off a faint glow like most MONITORS do in dimly-lit areas.

You also decide you don't need a CHAIR. It would take up too much space anyway.

Searching for dataDyne doesn't seem to retrieve anything that you didn't already know. They're a Research and Development company...and that's about it?

>> APEX HELP SYSTEM "Cassandra"

Your search returns the names of four Cassandras apparently working with or in APEX MICROCHIPS, but no in-depth biographies.

>>apex help system:keycards

Searching for "KEYCARDS" doesn't return a thing. That's really odd, considering that you're in possession of an APEX MICROCHIPS RED KEYCARD right now. Why wouldn't there be any data for it...?

>>Check the help system for "Apex" while your at it. We need to know what Jimmy's job is, or at least what his company does

>>Send email to Cassandra if she wants to go out

Eh. You don't know who she is, what she's like, what she looks like, etc. You do know she's the CEO of an entire corporation, and that's more than enough for you to know that you don't have a chance. What do you think this is, "Hitch", starring Will Smith?

~~~

>> Go to meeting, but do not enter, eavesdrop instead.

This command requires a bit more content on my part, so it is forthcoming in a day or so.

Saten Ruiko · **Posted:** September 12th, 2009, 2:26 pm

(Originally posted June 25, 2009)

>> Brainstorm on where you can find a chair for your computer desk.

Probably nowhere, since all of the other CUBICLES appear to be empty. You really don't think you need a CHAIR, anyway, though.

>>Change desktop background

You give a fitting farewell to your The World Ends With You background.

You choose a new DESKTOP IMAGE based on another one of your favorite video games--Final Fantasy Tactics: The War of the Lions--which coincidentally holds one of your favorite video game quotes of all time.

[Delita Heiral]
"I was given the wardrobe of a nobleman, and so I played the part.
A puppet, ever dancing for the amusement of patrons unseen."

This line holds some real symbolism for you, although you couldn't really imagine why. Just one of those weird things in life!

>> APEX HELP SYSTEM "Jimmy Whateverourlastnameis"

>> APEX HELP SYSTEM "Cassandra de Vries"

It looks like getting in touch with MS. DE VRIES won't be likely.

>>Email all the Cassandra's and ask to get to know them. (1-4 chance isn't bad...)

Nah. You're not really in the market for a relationship. Besides, as far as female names that start with C and have 9 letters go, you're more of a fan of Catherine.

>> Fire all cups into the fort's wall, both to test its sturdiness and count remaining ammo.
>> Replace all cups into bazooka.

You shoot all of your remaining CUP AMMUNITION into your CUBICLE WALL. The WALL holds steady, and it turns out you had 2 CUPS left.

You pick them up and attempt to load them back into your WATERCOOLER CUPHOLDER BAZOOKA.

As you try to replace your AMMUNITION, the HIGH-POWERED SPRING that powers your weapon snaps from its holder and shoots out of the end of the BAZOOKA at an amazing rate of speed! It blows a hole in your FORT'S ROOF and bounces around somewhere, likely never to be seen again.

Your WATERCOOLER CUPHOLDER BAZOOKA can no longer fire and has, in effect, been destroyed.
You shed a tear and discard the weapon that served you so well.

>> Eavesdrop on Meeting.

You head down to the ELEVATORS, find the button for FLOOR 25, and press it. The ELEVATOR takes you up two flights.

You walk out onto FLOOR 25, which is apparently much nicer than anywhere you've been before! The door on your right leads to the STAIRWAY. The ORNATE DOORS on the left lead to the APEX MICROCHIPS MEETING ROOM, from which you can hear muffled talking. That big meeting must already be underway!

The CEO'S SECRETARY stops you from going any further. She says that no one can disturb the meeting and that you'll have to leave.

On the SECRETARY'S DESK is a CORDLESS PHONE HOLDER (with PHONE attached) and a CALENDAR.

>> ?

Saten Ruiko · **Posted:** September 12th, 2009, 2:34 pm

(Originally posted July 1, 2009)

I was going to post this last night, but RV died on me.

~~~
Wish I could do something for Billy Mays, but I just don't have the time and no big ideas except Jimmy yelling "BILLY MAYS HERE" come to mind.

~~~

>>Ask if her name is catherine

The SECRETARY replies that her name is not, indeed, CATHERINE. Nice try though.

>> Show her the red carkey?

You show your RED KEYCARD to the SECRETARY, who is unimpressed. She replies that RED CARDKEYS do not automatically permit LOW-LEVEL MANAGERS such as yourself to enter the TOP FLOOR CONFERENCE ROOM. (Ha ha, she totally thinks you're a MANAGER.)

>> FIGHT!!
>> go to ELEVATOR to FLOOR 8
>> Tell her the gripping tale of your spider companion

There's no time to do any of this! That big MEETING appears to be already underway, and this is probably your only chance to ever actually see one. (Maybe because you usually spend all your time in your CUBICLE?)

>>While she's distracted, take the calendar.
>> take CORDLESS PHONE

With super-fast reflexes, the SECRETARY blocks her CALENDAR from view and protects her CORDLESS PHONE. She says that she's dealt with "your kind" before, and that you're better off leaving and going back to work before she calls SECURITY. This lady apparently has little patience for your lovable antics!

>> Trip over cordless phone.

The speed of a CHEETAH and the grace of a PENGUIN combined allow you to immediately trip over the SECRETARY's CORDLESS PHONE despite being several feet away from it.

Nothing eventful seems to happen that would help your case, but the CORDLESS PHONE rings on its own. The SECRETARY answers it.

"Yes? This is she. A package? I'm kind of busy right now. ...Rush delivery to Mr. Guitierrez? Okay, okay, I'll be right down to pick it up in person. Yes, see you in a minute."

The SECRETARY apparently has to leave to do something important, but leaves a word of warning for you.
"Just leave. Don't touch anything. Go back to your office or you're fired."
She takes the ELEVATOR and heads downward. (The ELEVATORS are now on floors 1 and 10.)

>> Go to meeting, but do not enter, eavesdrop instead.
>> Eavesdrop on Meeting.

You totally ignore the SECRETARY's rant and creep over to the doors to the CONFERENCE ROOM, peering inside.

Inside, you can see the CEO of APEX MICROCHIPS, MR. GUITIERREZ. He's apparently with two other people, neither of whom you've ever seen or met. The one on the left looks perturbed, and the one on the right is sporting a snazzy TRENCH COAT.

You hear MR. GUITIERREZ's voice come from within, along with someone else's.

Gentlemen. It's Christmas Eve.
No, it's not.
Oh. ...Right, sorry.

You then hear a woman's voice added to the mix, despite not being able to see her. She sounds middle-aged or so, with a harsh undertone. She also sounds slightly flat or distorted, as if she wasn't actually in the room.

Cut the chit-chat, Armando; I'm a busy woman. Now, I do hope my scientists have been of service?

Oh, yes. Ever since we exchanged our, shall we say, convenialities, they have been extremely helpful, Ms. de Vries. In fact, if their findings are correct, it appears your research team has only scratched the surface of what we will soon be able to do!

Good. I do not wish to waste my time on hopeless ventures--you must make sure that this does not become one.

Far from it. We are actually ahead of schedule already. With dataDyne's excellent research teams and Apex Microchips' worldwide influence, there is no limit to what we can accomplish together.

Hrm. Well. At any rate, I am pleased that your offer to allow my scientists to work in your facility has been of benefit to us. I would like to therefore return the favor, and ask that you appoint an Ambassador to dataDyne. I have sent a courier to Apex, and you shall receive an envelope with a Blue Keycard inside any minute now.

Excellent! Go, girlfriend!

...What was that?

Nothing, nothing.

To be certain, none of your employees know of our true intentions, right?

That is correct--only the three of us in this room and you. Not even those working on the actual project suspect that they're helping our companies to one day take over the world. The entire planet at our beck and call! Yes, won't that be neato?

Wha...take over the world? You let out a silent gasp.

Or perhaps it wasn't so silent after all! GUITIERREZ notices you through the crack in the door!

SECURITY! ARREST HIM! LICKITY-SPLIT!

Tons of ALARMS start going off, and you hear footsteps running towards you from inside the CONFERENCE ROOM! This is bad—very bad! After hearing that conversation, you don't think that they're simply going to fire you anymore. Your very life is in danger! What on earth are you going to do?!

>> Use 8-BALL to ask what we should do

The MAGIC 8-BALL gives some helpful advice for once.

But how? The ELEVATORS aren't even on this floor anymore, and SECURITY is closing fast! You need to find a spot in the building that, for example, BACKUP-SECURITY VIA ELEVATOR won't be able to reach you!

>> ?

The Adventures of Jimmy

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