On a more serious note, don't be ashamed of scape. If you have to hide your habits from people, then they aren't worth having as friends.

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Is irritated that calling a moron a moron is grounds for post deletion.

http://www.wowarmory.com/character-shee ... =Delonyera

٩(̾●̮̮̃̾•̃̾)۶

Heh, I'm going to agree with Delonyer here.

As simple as it may seem, just be yourself and talk to new people as you would talk to your current friends?

EDIT:
I never knew this thread existed until now

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Props to steve-loser on the old sig.

Okay, so this girl I have been with a year goes to a different school than I do. For now anyways. She texts me in class saying she is about to cry because the entire school knows something she did that she didn't want anyone to know about except a few close friends who she believed she could trust. She says someone she told has a big mouth and now the entire school knows and her friends say that she talks about it during school. I get mad at her friends and then they say they have not done anything wrong. Who should I be mad at or what should I do? She is crying and I don't know what to say to her. She is terrified her parents will find out.
Know what I Should do?

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Road to Insane Final Boss

It's kinda hard to say without knowing what she did. Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to weasel it out of you. I'm just saying.

For some general advice though, some other info would help.
What grade are you guys in?
Does she know exactly which friend dropped the ball?
What exactly would her parents do to her if they found out?

Without answers to these, all I can say is don't be mad at anyone without knowing more, quite yet. She's been your lady for a year. I'm sure you'd know how to comfort her better than we.

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+1

It really depends on what she did. If it was something morally reprehensible, maybe she should have kept it to herself. If it's something personal that people are making fun of her for, obviously stand up for her. If it was something such as getting an F, she has to face it eventually.

Bottom line is, just be there for her. I'm sure whatever she did is small potatoes in the grand scheme of things; try to make her realize this. Try to keep her mind off it until it blows over, and make sure you tell her you love her and will be there for her no matter what.

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Yesterday, I told a girl how I feel about her after about four years of being friends. She hasn't said anything back to me, which scares me to death. So, my question, what's the best way to deal with rejection?

Hey buddy. This is a tough question, because no one wants to be rejected.

It depends on the nature of her not answering you. Did you tell her in person? Via text? Via facebook? Is she avoiding you?

You shouldn't automatically jump to conclusions. Maybe she's still processing it. Maybe she's been busy. You should take solace in the fact that since you guys have been friends for so long, hopefully nothing will change. It shouldn't, anyway. The upside to asking out friends is that they'll let you down easy and hopefully you can continue being friends.

It never ceases to amaze me that people do this, though. If you've been friends with someone for THAT LONG, and the topic of a relationship hasn't come up, it likely never will or should. People asking their long-time friends out doesn't make sense to me. If there were any possibility of a relationship, it would have been clear in the first few months of your friendship.

Of course this isn't always the case, it has been the case 90% of the time in my experience.

At the end of the day, learning how to deal with rejection healthily is a part of life. The sooner you realize that this is just a small, relatively superfluous incident in the grand scheme of things, the better.

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Who believes that even the best relationships need a break apart from eachother sooner or later?

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Road to Insane Final Boss

A break? Maybe. But if you're describing said relationship as "the best" then it is obviously valuable and shouldn't be cut off.

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If you're in the Runevillage group, it makes it easier to identify you!

Hidden: 

Kikori wrote:

Topsummoner wrote:

Riptide wrote:

I used to get you and J@n mixed up. Except your funnier. And nicer. Happy 21st bro!

Oh man Jan, you just got zinged by Riptide. How much does THAT suck?

Well, statistically speaking, slightly more than a giant suckusaur. A dire one.

PenguinGuy wrote:

Lets see if I remember how to play...

EX REX IS MAFIA SCUM FOURTHVOTER UNVILLAGE BLAH BLAH BLAH SCUM BLAH WINE IN FRONT OF ME BLAH BLAH META GAME BLAH BLAH BLAH SMELLS OF ELDERBERRIES BLAH

Right?

Best way to deal with rejection, hard as it sounds just from this, is to move on. Beers with your friends. Ask another girl out. Whatever. Just don't dwell on it. Really sucks to be rejected, but if they wouldn't accept it, it's better not to try and 'force' them into a relationship.

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It was actually me that took the break from her... It was valuable but she needed to grow up some more before we tried again... I think I messed up going to her school's homecoming this past Friday, and I went to the dance and I realized I missed her. We danced and after I just walked away because I didn't want to say anything or do anything else. I asked her to my homecoming the next day >.<'. She is just the same as ever. Eh, she's fun and all, but I'm more serious. I just. forget it xD. Just another day.

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Road to Insane Final Boss

Gotta agree with Riptidenub on this one.

As a man having been in a 4+ year relationship and now another coming up on 2 years, I don't think that the 'break' you're thinking of should ever really be considered. I believe that time apart from your significant other is very important in a relationship (time spent at work, out with other friends, etc etc). But a break in the actual relationship where you 'date other people' is never warranted, in my opinion. It just seems like a cop-out to me. Most people I know who have tried this have wanted it simply to 'cheat' without the guilt or consequences of actually cheating. Or, they wanted it to explore their options (read: cheat). As riptide pointed out, if either of you feel like you need a break, it probably isn't the greatest relationship to start with. My stance has always been if you're not willing to work it out together, that should be the end of the discussion. But then again, I've always been *very* serious about relationships.

You say that you want her to grow up. That's a change that's going to take some time, presumably. It seems to me that you're not on a break, you're broken up. That's also a change that may or may not come, depending on your definition of growing up. If you're not willing to go through that with her, then is it really worth waiting or fussing over?

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Yeah, I understand. I guess I'm just letting what her aunt says about me get to me and what my parents said too >.<'. And I didn't cheat I'm just tired of all the .

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Road to Insane Final Boss

This guy speaks much truth. And to take relationships seriously is a bonus, since relationships are a pretty damn serious thing. The people who can take a break-up in stride are far and few between, especially the relationships that have lasted after so long. Work is always required and has always been required to help keep love from crashing, and when a couple decides to do something other than work towards repairing something wrong, then something vital is missing.

We are still without an answer to what she did that caused the drama, but the fact that you keep talking to her shows it wasn't serious enough to shun her over. However, and please forgive my bluntness, the fact that you can't decide if or not you want to be near her or not shows that the both of you have growing up to do. Taking a break but going back to her for gatherings? Giving in to fun but then trying to back away for something more serious once you realize something's not right? There's a boundary that needs to be set that you're just not setting, so the growth that needs to happen is not going to happen properly.

The answer to the question is, no. Even the best relationships shouldn't feature a planned vacation from the significant other. You already get that time away when you work, go to school, visit family, etc. and so does the SO. A relationship is not intended to be some smothering coupling of people in which they throw away all their personal time, hobbies, and preferences in place of "together". If you aren't getting the you time you want for the things you want to do, that's for you to talk over with her.

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Goten is dead!

I understand all the Critiques and I know they are all good points. It is complicated, yet simple. She is afraid of being alone, like me and most people, but I refuse to just be "there" she cares more about proving her aunt wrong and about what others say,think, or do around me than she does about me. I have tried for the past 2 years to make it work, but nothing I say or do is good enough to convince her that I care about her, and yes I do still care about her. I've also been raised with the truth and what I say doesn't necessarily get me on peoples' good side. She gets how I am and everything else, but how can I be with someone who doesn't listen to me and no matter how hard I try she cares more about others than me. The break wasn't so I can cheat, so she can, or anything there is no underline meaning. I want her to realize what I had to say was the truth and she shouldn't put much thought into what all the people that criticize her or me or us. It went to being just us at the beginning to everyone and their dog was in the relationship. Honestly I can care less about what others say about me or what I do; there is just no end to the complaints or critiques from her, and that's what I reached my limit of. In other words the way she treated me or made it seem like she didn't care if it was me there or not. I am very independent and I make sure people see my point of view even if it is not at the beginning. I refuse to be used or to just be there. I have no problem being single if "the one person" doesn't care about me that should. *Excluding family,friends whoever else*
She was always throwing what people told her in my face and I always listened and helped her understand they are just trying to tear her down. I am not a cold-hearted person I do care, but there is a difference between caring and obsessing over things/people.
I know a break was probably the wrong way to word it, but I was hoping she would go back to the way she was at the beginning.

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Road to Insane Final Boss

At kikori's post: I know what you mean in your first paragraph, and I must say that I love you in the most effeminately masculine way possible. We were both there for eachother during the big breaks, and your words ring so true it almost hurts. Well, it DOES hurt, but that's besides the point. Onward!



Now we're getting a little more info, which is good. But it doesn't seem like my answer/s are going to change. I know firsthand how it feels to feel unloved, unwanted, and always second or third best. The question you have to ask yourself is, do you want to be like me and demand to be number one in your girlfriend's life, or do you want to be like kikori and understand the importance of everyone around her, while perhaps putting your own emotional welfare on the backburn? It sounds like you and I are similar, and I have to tell you that it isn't an easy road.



Forgive me here, but this seems like a typical "I speak my mind and I don't care what people think" scenario. And that is normally someone's excuse to act like an . As you grow and learn, if you're going to succeed in life and relationships, you'll learn to keep certain things to yourself and to be more sensible, no matter how ridiculous the situation. There's always a nice way to say things if they absolutely need to be said.



See above.



Young grasshoppa. A relationship is never about who's right or wrong, and what is or isn't the truth. The truth, whether you want to admit it or not, is subjective. As I said, I spent four years trying to be 'right' and trying to cram the 'truth' down the throat of my girlfriend, and she did the same to me. What do I have to show for it? Four of the most stressful years of my life and a kid. I love my daughter more than anyone else on this earth. But god damn. I'm 22 and I have a 2 year old. And I'm not, nor will I ever be with my baby mama. And that is largely my fault. And I have to live with that for the rest of my life. What I'm saying is, have some foresight. You're me from five years ago. That's not a compliment.

The key thing to do, whether or not you want to pursue a relationship, is to always examine yourself as well. I can relate to the problems you have, believe me. After a certain period of time, other people will get involved in your relationship. In your defense, it doesn't sound like your ex handles that part very well. Once you've been together as long as you have, people can and will whisper in her ear because they simply have nothing better to do. And how she deals with it is a testament as to whether or not she might be the one. But you have to think about yourself, too. I'm not saying lie down and let yourself be abused, I'm saying dial back the 'honesty' and don't pick a fight.




She's never going to go back to anything. She's (hopefully) going to grow and change, and whether or not you want to wait around for that is solely up to you. Do some self-reflection in the meantime.

Long story short, I can guess that you're in high school, judging from the amount of drama generated by this relationship, by the homecoming story, etc etc. There's no avoiding drama and insignificant things being magnified, but once you realize that high school is four years of your life and that the sun will indeed come up tomorrow, with or without her, the better off you'll be. I certainly don't mean to patronize you, but take it from me: you'll get over her. Just make a decision and stick with it. You owe it to yourself and to her.

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Haha You made a good guess unless you looked my age up in the info or whatever. If you are 22 then I am you 5 years ago. I'm 17 and a senior and High School. This year I've changed a lot in my life because I've decided my last year of School I will not deal with the people, things, etc that have bugged me in the past. I was in band since 6th grade and got out in the first week of the school year. I learn to get over things, and that honesty bit was not an excuse or anything my step dad still tells everyone the truth no matter what it is, they started treating me like I was 30 when I turned 15. I will not back down from anyone / anything and I will not sugar coat anything. Since he can do it, has done it, will do it. So will I. The one thing I can't get passed is that I am soft when it comes to people I care about, I end up caring too much and get hurt in the end, so you're either on my good side, or I can care less about what happens.
Sounds childish, but it's the truth.

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Road to Insane Final Boss

I promise you that your attitude will change in the coming years.

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I don't look forward to that. I enjoy being independent and not having to rely on anyone or anything. Meh. Favorite quote * happens *

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Road to Insane Final Boss

Independence and dependence are words and concepts. I like interdependence. I think a true sign of wisdom and maturity is that you will come to realize that you need to be able to rely on some people, and they need to be able to rely on you.

Being independent is all fine and dandy. My comment was towards your aggressively honest attitude.

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