So, Friday is fun at work. We're the bank.
No, seriously. Nobody touches the ATM. Everyone comes through a cashier's line and gets more cash back than we have money. I take a slip of paper and log just how much cash I give out, both from people getting extra with cards / checks, and people giving $100 for small orders. Friday, here's what I came up with.
Any number marked with a * was paid with a $100 bill.
Hour 1 to 2: 40, 20, 40, 88*, 18, 20. In the first hour of working, I gave away $226.
Hours 2 to 5: 33*, 35, 40, 20, 10, 40, 20
*Insert supervisor pulling a 'drop' on my till to take away almost any excess money. A.K.A. fresh till, no cash to hand out*
Hours 5 to shift's end: 20 (first order), 20 (second ordeR), 61* (seventh order), 41*, 40, 40, 36*, 94*, 20
In six hours of being a cashier, I handed back $799.
I'm fairly certain I didn't MAKE that much in cash to start with.
Sunday, today, is a day of pure lulz. We can't sell a drop of beer before 12:01 by our computer's clocks, and after church gets out, the crowd is ridiculous. So I decided to keep track of what all happened today that would be fun to make fun of. Here's what I got.
1.) Normally, people ask for amounts of cash back that I don't have in bills over $10. So I have had to pay $20 or greater MANY times with only $5 bills. For once, I started off with some money. Despite that, I still had to make change for $20 bills five (count it, 5) times because people SPECIFIED that they didn't want a $20.
... What the hell. ;-;
2.) A lady comes up with a few items and, with a tone suited to match talking to a five year old, told me after everything was over with "I want a fifty. Dollar. Kroger. Gift. Card."
Now, at each register, there are gift cards hanging above the gum. They vary by each register. Also, not ten steps from the registers, there's an enormous, colorful rack full of gift cards. I tell the lady that the card she's after is there, and she tells me to stay while she goes to get one. Thirty seconds later, I see she walked PAST the colorful rack of cards that say GIFT CARD STATION in large, white letters, and gone up the aisle (which is full of cleaning supples). Even as I pulled off a Kroger gift card, she didn't see; she told me none of them said Kroger's.
3.) Mickey, a bagger who's more often than not pushing in rows of shopping carts for his work shift, was bagging for me. The bag racks were loaded with bags already. I'm talking about enough to last maybe six hours. He pulls out two more sets of bags for each rack and loads it to the point that the mini-platform to stand groceries on is half full of bags. Basically? Nothing could fit.
4.) In the exact same time frame, a woman comes up with two orders. For some reason, she pulls a gallon of milk from the SECOND order out first, and keeps trying to shove it back to make room for the first order's items. People seem to think that placing a divider on the belt makes things magically stop and work themselves out.
About six shoves into it, I finally got the milk out of the way.
5.) Same lady. Upon unloading her second order, this group comes in behind her and starts tossing their things on the belt before lady #1 is done, not minding that the orders nearly merged. People seem to think that placing a divider on the belt makes things magically stop and work themselves out.
6.) Someone not long after came up with six 6-packs of cokes in the buggy. The kind that have bar codes in the middle of the bottle, hidden from the eyes, and basically impossible to get to without pulling the cokes out seperately.
I'm finished with what's on the belt, and the old guy asks "Did you get the cokes?"
Inner me: "No, you moron. The cokes can't be scanned until they're up on the belt. It's called a bar code."
Me: "No, but I need one of each flavor up here."
7.) Another case of order invasion. A guy is unloading a good sized order, and this asian couple comes in behind him. Not even 1/3 into the first order, the groceries wind up mixed.
Two seconds later, I've unmixed them and place the divider over the laser to stop the belt. Guy #1 pulls the divider from my hand to push it in front of the second order. The second order slides up again in his way. I put my hand on the belt to stop it again and put the divider back in place.
People seem to think that placing a divider on the belt makes things magically stop and work themselves out.
... Lolwut.
*Flips the paper over*
8.) At Kroger's, we have a system that if you use your shopper's card, every dollar spent (minus some items and tax) earns a 'gas point' for the month. 100 gas points, and you can trade 'em for $.10 off the gallon of gas from us.
A guy comes up with nothing on sale, but asks if he should use his card. As he looks at the screen, I punch in the numbers on how much cash he's handed me. I pause as he asks.
Me: "Only if you want the gas points. Want 'em?" (One... two... three seconds of silence. No response.) *Pushes the payment button and starts getting the change out*
Him: "Sure." *Hands out his card*
Me: (... TOO LATE,

.) [insert explenation of the gas point system to him, since he didn't know about it.]
9.) A woman comes up, and in her order, she took out one of the boxes we use to hold Clif bars (

We keep empty boxes in place as placeholders...), and a large assorment inside. My only mistake here is to toss the bars down the belt as they're scanned for the first three bars while she's scrambling to get them back to the box. She "doesn't want them crushed."
... Understandalbe. They're not exactly hard. So I start setting the ones scanned with her group and, when I'm done scanning, start placing them back in the box.
Once I get them in, she snatches the box out of my hand and jumbles them up roughly in her own way. ...

10.) A lady with many "organic" items has a cucumber in the list.
Me: *Pushes 94062 and "Enter" to ring up an organic cucumber*
Computer: NOT FOR SALE
... Wait, what? Beer may not be allowed 'til 12:01 for Church purposes, but organic cucumbers are just plain not allowed?
My first thought is recall. Why would something properly home grown, no injections or pesticides or anything, have to be recalled? I guess Organic got busted.
The woman walked away with a look of "...Am I wasting time and money on this?"
Kroger's can be quite lulzy at times. X3