amusing introduction

Wolfwood · **Posted:** November 5th, 2008, 5:03 pm

i had lots of fun writing this introduction paragraph for a science paper on igneous rocks (slowly cooling rocks that eventually form crystals like granite and obsidian). BTW igneous rocks are slowly cooled under and on top of volcanoes, read the wiki for further information.

anyways i sent this to my writing consultant and needless to say, she wasn't happy. apparently the picture of igneous rocks i sent along with the e-mail (the picture was required for the essay) was waaaay too big (2MB) and had her e-mail tied up for 10-15 minutes. >_> in anycase, even though this is a bit lengthy, it's still amazing.

Creating an introduction is very troublesome, especially if the introduction cannot be written without boggling the mind of the writer and eventually becoming frustrated as if said writer was trying to unlock the secrets of which only God knows. But I am the writer of this particular essay and I am not here to solve such problems and answer such questions because that would fall into the conundrums of things like “love” no. I solve practical problems and answer scientific questions like, “what does a slowly cooling piece of hot groundmass become when said process has vanquished itself from existence, and eventually built up on the very ground we stand on? Or completely conflagrate the building you are so inadvertently ensnared within, without knowing that a potentially precarious vehement volcano you are in the vicinity of could violently invalidate the very vitality you contain within yourself?” this is, or at least, the first part of this question, I will answer in this particular essay I have been so irritatingly required to write. You may read the answer below, or, you could completely disregard the verity of what I have verified in this division of the idea of the predicament you are trying to decipher, which may not be the actual quandary you are demanding of me, a wholesome component in this vast universe of dilemmas and difficulties in which you cannot possibly comprehend. So your adversary is not the current crisis currently, but in actuality is the aggravating interpretation of what I am dictating to whoever is interpreting this thesis of constant theology, and naught of the questions we have confirmed that you may or may not be trying to satisfy. So devoid of deception, this component shall answer the solitary issue of what, at the present, this essay is in relation to igneous rocks and from which they appear in analysis of the realism.

....discuss....
hope you enjoyed!!!

-Kami

Knivah · **Posted:** November 12th, 2008, 4:20 am

It's brilliant in its own way; laconic, slang-like if you will but adds to the effect of the intro. On a technical level, in my country, you would get your ass whooped lol. Still love it though.

Antic Hero · **Posted:** November 12th, 2008, 11:52 am

I lol'd. Nice intro

BTW, do I spot a TF2 Meet the Engineer reference there?

Wolfwood · **Posted:** September 9th, 2009, 1:55 am

lol yeah. Antic you rock for noticing it xD

-Kami :ura:

Animal · **Posted:** September 12th, 2009, 2:54 pm

I noticed it as well. :ura:

Kami is a pretty cool guy, writes damn good introductions and doesn't afraid of anything.

Antic Hero · **Posted:** September 12th, 2009, 3:04 pm

TheAnimal wrote:

I noticed it as well. :ura:

Kami is a pretty cool guy, writes damn good introductions and doesn't afraid of anything.

I thought I already closed my 4chan tab. ._.

Wolfwood · **Posted:** September 12th, 2009, 3:49 pm

Antic Hero wrote:

TheAnimal wrote:

I noticed it as well. :ura:

Kami is a pretty cool guy, writes damn good introductions and doesn't afraid of anything.

I thought I already closed my 4chan tab. ._.

:s I don't get it... <_< Is there an internet meem I am unaware of?! :wut:

-Wolf

Animal · **Posted:** September 12th, 2009, 4:34 pm

Antic Hero wrote:

TheAnimal wrote:

I noticed it as well. :ura:

Kami is a pretty cool guy, writes damn good introductions and doesn't afraid of anything.

I thought I already closed my 4chan tab. ._.

Kikori · **Posted:** September 21st, 2009, 4:22 pm

Antic Hero wrote:

I lol'd. Nice intro

BTW, do I spot a TF2 Meet the Engineer reference there?

He used it wrong, though.

"That would fall into the per-view of your conundroms as 'pholisophy'. I solve practical problems"

Also, your introduction was definitely interesting, but was seemed to convey "I really don't want to write this crap, so I'll bore you to death with an intrudction that speaks a lot but says nothing."
...
POLITICIAN! *Lynches*

Nish · **Posted:** September 21st, 2009, 5:20 pm

kikori kid wrote:

Also, your introduction was definitely interesting, but was seemed to convey "I really don't want to write this crap, so I'll bore you to death with an intrudction that speaks a lot but says nothing."

Those are the exact thoughts I was having about the writer. It was funny though :^_^:

Wolfwood · **Posted:** September 22nd, 2009, 1:19 am

Kik guessed it right! I really didn't want to write the essay (I did anyway) so I decided to have fun at my tutor's expense.

-Wolf :ura"

amusing introduction

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