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 Post subject: (N) Runequest-temple of fire
PostPosted: June 21st, 2008, 10:00 am 
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hello all this is linkkid6,and this is the first of a 8 book series:runequest. i hope you will like the story and comment on it when able. please enjoy!

~~~

Intro-

This is the story of three heros,who must go on a quest to find 8 artifacts of power,with these they will be able to defeat a great enemy before it destroys runescape and everyone in it

The three heros will be introduced in the chapters to come,in these character chapters,you will find out about the hero,and their operator,for no hero in runescape can function with their operator

we now start with our first hero,and his operator...

~~~

sub-chapter 1:our first hero (and his operator)

character name:linkkid6 (also known as "link")
age:unknown
height:unknown
skin color:brown
hair:varies
fighting type:full triangle


operator name:Lenny "Alex" Wims
age:15
height:5"10"
skin color:brown
eye color:brown
hair color:brownish-black
mood:calm,at times random
________________________________________________________
Info on character and player bond:link and alex are like brothers,
even though alex does most of the talking for link,link can be independant at times and likes to think outside of the box.
Also link sometimes can dream when alex is not looking or is gone.

most people have this same character/player bond,but wont agknowlegde it.

~~~

CHAPTER 1:(Nothing to do):Link was walking through varrock,
bored out his skull,"Alex,can we please do something?" he said.
Alex was sitting at the computer,feeling the same as link,"what do you suppose we do? its not like theres much to do in nonmembers." said Alex,drawing stares from people passing by him. The people thought Alex was just this crazy kid talking to a computer,but Alex found it relaxing to have someone to talk to,so he continued to talk,"fine lets go to the bar or something" and so link made the walk to the bar,upon walking in link found two things strange:1:there was no one in the bar except these two robed figures and 2:they had all of the sudden drawn their knifes.
"Uhh Alex?" link said,"What?" Alex said,not seeing what link was seeing. "equip my weapon,now."....


Ill post more later depending on what you guys think of it so far


Last edited by linkkid6 on June 25th, 2008, 10:55 am, edited 1 time in total.
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 Post subject: Re: runequest-temple of fire
PostPosted: June 21st, 2008, 10:37 am 
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I merged your four posts together. ^_^;

Since double-posting is technically against the rules here, in the future, if no one has posted yet and you wish to add something, please edit your previous post rather than making a new one. The Edit button can be found in the bottom-right-hand corner of each of your posts. :)

Thanks, and good luck with your story!

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 Post subject: Re: runequest-temple of fire
PostPosted: June 21st, 2008, 10:51 am 
Champion of Saradomin
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Interesting. I see some potential, and the idea of having an operator controlling a character yet the character having an independent will of its own is a drastically new take on RuneScape.
However, I'm just going to get the out of the way. Your SPAG (Spelling, Punctuation, And Grammar) needs some work. It's by far not the worst I've seen, but it's also not what you see in some of the best stories on RuneVillage (Jaron's Zamorak's Bane series comes to mind as a good example of an excellent story). It detracts a bit from the story, and can be fixed easily. If you need someone to check it over, I'm available to help with that.

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 Post subject: Re: runequest-temple of fire
PostPosted: June 21st, 2008, 12:26 pm 
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thank you for the tips


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 Post subject: Re: runequest-temple of fire
PostPosted: June 21st, 2008, 1:04 pm 
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It is good so far. Add more please. One last thing, add (N) to the beginnning of your title to let people know that it is a novel/multiple chapter story.

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 Post subject: Re: runequest-temple of fire
PostPosted: June 21st, 2008, 1:35 pm 
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ill add 3 new chapters every 3-4 days


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 Post subject: Re: runequest-temple of fire
PostPosted: June 21st, 2008, 2:00 pm 
WUT IT DEW MAYNE
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You're trying to get this published? :-s

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 Post subject: Re: runequest-temple of fire
PostPosted: June 21st, 2008, 2:19 pm 
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well i sent e-mail to jagex for permission to use runescape for book
but they havent sent me a e-mail back yet


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 Post subject: Re: runequest-temple of fire
PostPosted: June 23rd, 2008, 11:14 pm 
WUT IT DEW MAYNE
Champion of Saradomin
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I mean, would publishers accept it?

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 Post subject: Re: runequest-temple of fire
PostPosted: June 24th, 2008, 9:09 am 
Champion of Saradomin
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No offense, but it needs major work before it'll be at the level where you could seriously consider getting it published.

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 Post subject: Re: runequest-temple of fire
PostPosted: June 24th, 2008, 10:52 am 
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Well i did post on here first so i could see what people thought of it. Its good to hear honest reviews so far.


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 Post subject: Re: runequest-temple of fire
PostPosted: June 25th, 2008, 10:49 am 
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And now we continue with runequest:ToF
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

Chapter 2:Regrets

Everyone has regrets,some regret the things they do in the past,some regret things in the present,these regrets prevent us from seeing the reason these things happened.Alex's regret was not being able to tell Link at that exact moment to look out.A large crash sounded and Link was down,a third hooded figure was laughing as he dropped the remains of a magic staff. "Lets go." The figure said,and as quick as a blink,they were gone...
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________
"Oh god!" Alex said to himself,wondering what to do,he tried moving his mouse icon to Links crumbled body and clicked,"Wake up!!!" He said. click. click-click. nothing. He tried clicking any prayer,Redemption:nothing happened. Retribution:Link wasnt dead,so at least Alex didnt have to use that. He chose Rapid Heal,suddenly a ring of white light began circling Link,"what...?" He asked himself. He watched on screen as Link disappeared.
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________
Chapter 3:Hall of the elements

Link awoke and found himself alone in a giant room,the wall were made of white marble,he called "Alex?" No answer.
"Oh Saradomin." He cursed. So he was alone,he thought,oh well."Lets see.." He began walking towards the middle of the hall,as he was doing so,he noticed the pillars had symbols on them.When he finally got to the middle,he noticed it was surrounded by 8 pillars and in the center of these 8 there was a pedistole,but for some reason it had nothing on it except a little indent for something to go in it."Hmmm..." Was all Link could say. He looked up at a wall and saw that there was glass window with a picture. The picture showed 3 people holding a bow,a sword,and a staff,they seemed to be fighting a huge demon with these weapons,the sky was dark in this picture. As Link approached the picture,it seemed to him that the Sword in the picture began to glow with a faint humm.Then out of the blue a voice boomed. "WHO DARES DISTURB THE HALL OF THE ELEMENTS?!??!" Link jumped back and began to look around for the voice,it seemed to be coming from the pedistole,"But thats impossible! pedistoles dont talk." But Link was very wrong. This pedistole talked,for it was the Gaurdian of the Hall."WHO ARE YOU!!! AND WHY HAVE YOU COME TO THIS HALL!!!" The voice boomed."Well,if you must know," Link said coming closer to the pedistole,"I Am Linkkid6,but im afraid i can't answer your question as to why am i here." He had just gotten to the center of the Hall once again. "But i would appriciate you not boom at me,as i have just regained conciousness.No reply. "Well is this better?" said a small voice behind link,he turned and found that the voice belonged to a small child......
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

Thats all i have so far for this time,please comment and tell me what you think of it so far.


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 Post subject: Re: (N) Runequest-temple of fire
PostPosted: June 26th, 2008, 7:16 am 
Champion of Saradomin
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I would recommend running this through (or even typing it in) a word program before posting it. That will help with the grammar and spelling.

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 Post subject: Re: (N) Runequest-temple of fire
PostPosted: June 26th, 2008, 9:04 am 
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I suggest chapters longer than a paragraph or two. :-s


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 Post subject: Re: (N) Runequest-temple of fire
PostPosted: June 26th, 2008, 10:20 am 
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Hoof, stories are OK if they are only a paragraph or two per chapter. Take a look at my first story. Here's a link for my first story, by the way. viewtopic.php?f=118&t=414152&start=0&st=0&sk=t&sd=a


Please note, though, Hoof, that right now I am in the process of revising A Rat's Tale.

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 Post subject: Re: (N) Runequest-temple of fire
PostPosted: June 26th, 2008, 1:08 pm 
Champion of Saradomin
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Rat, your story had lots of chapters, and it was still only about the length of my Golden Chinchillas 3. If he want to write such short chapters, he needs to be prepared to write a lot of them.

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 Post subject: Re: (N) Runequest-temple of fire
PostPosted: June 27th, 2008, 10:02 am 
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Well some chapters can be longer than some and some shorter,it all depends on how much i have thought out for those chapters,plus some chapters have a certain theme,for example:one chapter might give information on a location in the story or info on something in relevance of that next chapter. It all depends...


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