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 Post subject: [P]Life? No life?
PostPosted: December 27th, 2007, 12:08 pm 
Champion of Saradomin
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There is no life
Therefor i dont have one
If I did it would be dark
Filled with hatred

What is life
There is no life
people show me their dreams
I see their destruction


What is life
There is no life
people create joy
I create hatred


What is life
There is no life
Life is not a gift
Life is not a choice
What is life? There is no life.

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Last edited by Tyler on December 27th, 2007, 9:07 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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 Post subject: Re: Life? No life?
PostPosted: December 27th, 2007, 7:02 pm 
Village Elder
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Remember to mark your topic title [P] for poetry or prose :)

I like your use of
"What is life
There is no life"
A lot of writers have used repeated phrases with success. Edger Allan Poe's "The Raven" comes to mind.

One thing about your poem that nagged at me is that it begs the question: why is there no life?

The poem reads:

"There is no life
Therefor i dont have one
If I did it would be dark
Filled with hatred
"

But it goes on to say:

"people show me their dreams
I see their destruction"

"people create joy
I create hatred"

So it sounds as if the person does have life, because it is dark, and filled with hatred, as he or she says life would be. Perhaps you mean more of a question than a statement:

"How could there be life?"

Is the motivation here a conflict between the goodness that "life" implies, and the hatred and suffering that a living person experiences, or a statement from an experienced point of view, or some other motive?

After a little thought, my belief is that the person has "lost" his or her life because of the hatred they themselves have created. It seems to me to end with little hope of a future recovery from this death. I personally always think there is hope.

Just something to think about. Keep it up :)


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 Post subject: Re: Life? No life?
PostPosted: December 27th, 2007, 9:07 pm 
Champion of Saradomin
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Earl of March wrote:
A lot of writers have used repeated phrases with success. Edger Allan Poe's "The Raven" comes to mind.

After a little thought, my belief is that the person has "lost" his or her life because of the hatred they themselves have created. It seems to me to end with little hope of a future recovery from this death. I personally always think there is hope.

Just something to think about. Keep it up :)

I just read the Raven recently. It's about the man who has that rave that comes to his house and says that phrase? And he hears knocking and he's waiting for Elizabeth I think it was.

I remember the poem was amazing.

Also you are correct.

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When worded correctly, truth is never a cliché; This is because so many are attached to their deaf ears.


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 Post subject: Re: [P]Life? No life?
PostPosted: March 27th, 2008, 2:20 pm 
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Nice poem, i really like it, you need to make more poems :D


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 Post subject: Re: [P]Life? No life?
PostPosted: April 5th, 2008, 9:00 am 
The 4D
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It's a bit depressing, but I think it's good. Have you written any other poems? (You can tell me on MSN)

-Matt

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