I haven't spoke to the girl since before I made this topic. I've seen her around school but it hasn't been too hard trying to avoid her. Except the one time she was sitting with a couple of my best friends so I sat down but didn't talk to her.
I think i'll be fine within a little while, I just hope eventually I can talk to her again, she actually was one of my best friends.
Statistics: Posted by Kainth — February 22nd, 2012, 9:07 am
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Kikori wrote:
Eadwulf wrote:
Goten wrote:
You, on the other hand, sound like a bit of a psychopath. Feeling violent tendencies for someone you care about is extremely unhealthy and, if you're not already seeing a therapist, I'd suggest looking into it. I don't mean this as anything offensive, just a genuine observation.
Actually that kind of thing is fairly normal in this manner of situation. It's not really of issue until there's actual compulsion to act upon such emotions.
... Normal for who? Absolutely zero of my friends, in any of their relationship's problems, break-ups, and lows, have felt such violent desires.
Having lived the life of confidant, secret keeper, pillar of support, stable home to retreat to, and/or the friend who almost always offers a stream of support to someone when needed, I've heard worse from quite a few people. Murderous desires still haven't come up except in a case like Goten gave, where it would be in the defense of an other.
Statistics: Posted by Kikori — February 21st, 2012, 11:11 pm
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-Phat
Statistics: Posted by Phat Hobo — February 21st, 2012, 9:09 pm
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Anyway, I'm glad you've labeled me as 'not a threat'. I'll sleep extra well tonight.
I've still got my eye on you.
(I was court-ordered to therapy as a kid too. I honestly don't think any kid takes much of a positive experience from it as they haven't really been able to develop a sense of self yet. Therapy in adulthood, on the other hand, can be extremely beneficial.)
Statistics: Posted by Christopher — February 21st, 2012, 9:02 pm
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Eadwulf wrote:
Goten wrote:
You, on the other hand, sound like a bit of a psychopath. Feeling violent tendencies for someone you care about is extremely unhealthy and, if you're not already seeing a therapist, I'd suggest looking into it. I don't mean this as anything offensive, just a genuine observation.
Actually that kind of thing is fairly normal in this manner of situation. It's not really of issue until there's actual compulsion to act upon such emotions.
... Normal for who? Absolutely zero of my friends, in any of their relationship's problems, break-ups, and lows, have felt such violent desires.
Statistics: Posted by Saten Ruiko — February 21st, 2012, 8:11 pm
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It wouldn't hurt to explore these things with a therapist if you can afford one, but you're likely not any threat to anyone.
I'm a firm believer in self evaluation, and I was required to see a therapist as a child for various things, mostly over my mother's gross neglect of myself and my sister. It was never a positive experience.
Anyway, I'm glad you've labeled me as 'not a threat'. I'll sleep extra well tonight.
Statistics: Posted by Landerpurex — February 21st, 2012, 6:18 pm
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Do said books mention anything about how unrequited love can foster strong resentment, or how men will often behaviourally manifest depression as anger? This is especially the case in western/individualist societies.
I've been delving more into the criminology area so that's probably why it worried me. I LOOK AT EVERYONE AND I JUST SEE SERIAL KILLERS WAITING TO HAPPEN.
Eadwulf wrote:
That was my point; I wasn't alluding to any personal experiences.
I was really just looking forward to one of your sarcastic "I WILL
KILL YOU"s when I said you're not the person to consult. You dropped the ball.Eadwulf wrote:
Also, I've never heard "soft" as a term for cocaine before; is that new?
I don't think so..? Powdered cocaine has been around since at least the early 90's. The terminology may be new and it's likely become more popular in that time, but it's been around.
Statistics: Posted by Christopher — February 21st, 2012, 4:17 pm
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Eadwulf wrote:
Goten wrote:
You, on the other hand, sound like a bit of a psychopath. Feeling violent tendencies for someone you care about is extremely unhealthy and, if you're not already seeing a therapist, I'd suggest looking into it. I don't mean this as anything offensive, just a genuine observation.
Actually that kind of thing is fairly normal in this manner of situation. It's not really of issue until there's actual compulsion to act upon such emotions.
... Normal for who? Absolutely zero of my friends, in any of their relationship's problems, break-ups, and lows, have felt such violent desires.
I have said thoughts regularly. I can quite clearly picture in my head smashing numerous peoples heads/faces/bodies in. I have the occasional dream where I kill someone by beating them to death. My ex (Who I'm sleeping with) has a friend who has said he wants to kick my teeth in, I've basically told her to relay a message to him for him to try it just because I would love to have the opportunity to punch someone continuously and I'd feel even better about it if they started it. I refuse to start said beating despite having the urge, but I damn well want to.
Statistics: Posted by Simons Pure — February 21st, 2012, 7:54 am
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Maybe I've been reading too many psychology books
Do said books mention anything about how unrequited love can foster strong resentment, or how men will often behaviourally manifest depression as anger? This is especially the case in western/individualist societies.
That was my point; I wasn't alluding to any personal experiences. I'm highly well-read myself, in case you're wondering. Frankly, any personal issues I may have had in my rather downtrodden life are nobody's sodding business if I so choose, and more importantly have absolutely nothing to do with this discussion.
Also, I've never heard "soft" as a term for cocaine before; is that new?
Statistics: Posted by Eadwulf — February 21st, 2012, 7:39 am
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I wouldn't label these feelings as normal, but I DO believe everyone has them perhaps once in a great while. Everyone who's thought "man, I'd love to kill that person..." or beat them up, or teach them a lesson; is guilty of it to a degree. An overactive imagination or especial loathing might take the thought to another level. I guess I'm just trying to let Kainth know he's not alone, and let Ead know he's not entirely insane (yet).
I agree and I disagree. I very rarely have violent impulses for another human being - The only times being if someone is putting someone else in immediate danger. That's not to say I don't feel like punching a wall now and again, which I do and have, but that is my personal way of directing anger away from people. The severity/frequency of violent impulses may have something to do with testosterone or whatever, so it may be genetic, but it never hurts to try to get a better handle on these things.
My main point in what I said earlier wasn't so much that it's not normal (I assumed such from my own experiences and perception, but I don't have any statistics or anything to back that up), but that it's not healthy. That's the main thing. If you have urges to cause extreme physical harm to someone over emotional distress, that has the potential to progress into a more broadened range of emotional ques and become a much more appealing way of handling that distress. While it may not be an immediately impending reality, it can develop over time if you don't learn to express and deal with that emotional distress in a more controlled and healthy manner.
Maybe I've been reading too many psychology books but that particular part of Kainth's post just rubbed me oddly, is all. But on this subject, I think two quotes can sum it up;
Landerpurex wrote:
Though these thoughts disturb me when they happen
piggah wrote:
Crazy people don't think they're crazy.
As long as you're capable of identifying that such thoughts/actions are unhealthy, you probably have a good control on them. It wouldn't hurt to explore these things with a therapist if you can afford one, but you're likely not any threat to anyone.
Statistics: Posted by Christopher — February 21st, 2012, 5:58 am
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Great solution to women:
There's side effects, yes, but no dealing with crazy people
Convince yourself you're a homosexual. Problem solved.
Statistics: Posted by Muscular Ape — February 21st, 2012, 4:15 am
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Eadwulf wrote:
Goten wrote:
You, on the other hand, sound like a bit of a psychopath. Feeling violent tendencies for someone you care about is extremely unhealthy and, if you're not already seeing a therapist, I'd suggest looking into it. I don't mean this as anything offensive, just a genuine observation.
Actually that kind of thing is fairly normal in this manner of situation. It's not really of issue until there's actual compulsion to act upon such emotions.
... Normal for who? Absolutely zero of my friends, in any of their relationship's problems, break-ups, and lows, have felt such violent desires.
Ehhh...this isn't something I like to talk about, and indeed...there are perhaps two people in the world who know this about me, but I've had such urges. Like, really, really bad ones. Violently explicit ones. Especially with my previous girlfriend, the aforementioned; long before our relationship went to shambles. I've had such thoughts about my baby girl as well, it felt like a weird post-partem thing for guys. I've only had these with my current girlfriend when I was taking some medicine that seemed to cause strange mood swings.
The bottom line is I haven't the time, money, or insurance for a therapist. Though there are ones I could see for free, that would involve valuable time and jumping through a bunch of hoops that I don't want to jump through. Though these thoughts disturb me when they happen and I sometimes feel I can't control them (the THOUGHTS, not ACTIONS), they don't come often. I've never abused anyone, nor will I ever, and I'm confident in this fact. I fully understand the consequences of such actions and would never commit such crimes.
I wouldn't label these feelings as normal, but I DO believe everyone has them perhaps once in a great while. Everyone who's thought "man, I'd love to kill that person..." or beat them up, or teach them a lesson; is guilty of it to a degree. An overactive imagination or especial loathing might take the thought to another level. I guess I'm just trying to let Kainth know he's not alone, and let Ead know he's not entirely insane (yet).
Statistics: Posted by Landerpurex — February 21st, 2012, 3:26 am
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Goten wrote:
You, on the other hand, sound like a bit of a psychopath. Feeling violent tendencies for someone you care about is extremely unhealthy and, if you're not already seeing a therapist, I'd suggest looking into it. I don't mean this as anything offensive, just a genuine observation.
Actually that kind of thing is fairly normal in this manner of situation. It's not really of issue until there's actual compulsion to act upon such emotions.
... Normal for who? Absolutely zero of my friends, in any of their relationship's problems, break-ups, and lows, have felt such violent desires.
Statistics: Posted by Kikori — February 21st, 2012, 3:04 am
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There's side effects, yes, but no dealing with crazy people
Statistics: Posted by Ex Rex — February 21st, 2012, 12:47 am
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Magicana Drofulcus wrote:
Here is some hard fought advice from me, that I wish I'd known earlier.
If you have feelings for a girl, you tell her, and she replies in the negative - Cut her out of your life. Don't answer her texts, phone calls, Facebook messages, organise outings with your friends that don't involve her, etc.
She either cracks and falls for you, or she wont go out with you. Either way, you're no worse off than you are now.
In this case I'd say she's just a massive bitch. "Oh haha I'm a psychopath.". That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard.
If you have feelings for a girl, you tell her, and she replies in the negative - Cut her out of your life. Don't answer her texts, phone calls, Facebook messages, organise outings with your friends that don't involve her, etc.
She either cracks and falls for you, or she wont go out with you. Either way, you're no worse off than you are now.
In this case I'd say she's just a massive bitch. "Oh haha I'm a psychopath.". That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard.
Some of the truest words I've ever read.
I feel you, man. I was with a girl for four and a half years, I thought this was it. We had a baby girl together, then she cheated on me...with another woman. She then proceeded to dump me for that woman. Wanna talk about psycho? She said she would have never thought of cheating on me had we been engaged. We were juniors in college.
Long story short, don't put up with any garbage from girls (or guys), especially if you're young. It's hard to think about your feelings, or actions, but it's a must if you want to look out for yourself in the long run. I'm not much older than most people here, a week from turning twenty-two, but already I'm able to look back and laugh at some of the frivolous things I did and relationships I had that seemed like a big deal at the time.
Take it from a guy who knows exactly how you feel, times a hundred bajilion: this might seem like the end of the world, or at the very least, it hurts a lot...but take some solace in the fact that in a few months (or perhaps years) this isn't going to matter at all. It'll be a fleeting memory at most.
For reference, what's 'soft'? Slang for some kind of drug...?
I googled it, and it was powdered cocaine as opposed to crack cocaine.
Statistics: Posted by Magicana Drofulcus — February 21st, 2012, 12:02 am
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Here is some hard fought advice from me, that I wish I'd known earlier.
If you have feelings for a girl, you tell her, and she replies in the negative - Cut her out of your life. Don't answer her texts, phone calls, Facebook messages, organise outings with your friends that don't involve her, etc.
She either cracks and falls for you, or she wont go out with you. Either way, you're no worse off than you are now.
In this case I'd say she's just a massive bitch. "Oh haha I'm a psychopath.". That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard.
Some of the truest words I've ever read.
I feel you, man. I was with a girl for four and a half years, I thought this was it. We had a baby girl together, then she cheated on me...with another woman. She then proceeded to dump me for that woman. Wanna talk about psycho? She said she would have never thought of cheating on me had we been engaged. We were juniors in college.
Long story short, don't put up with any garbage from girls (or guys), especially if you're young. It's hard to think about your feelings, or actions, but it's a must if you want to look out for yourself in the long run. I'm not much older than most people here, a week from turning twenty-two, but already I'm able to look back and laugh at some of the frivolous things I did and relationships I had that seemed like a big deal at the time.
Take it from a guy who knows exactly how you feel, times a hundred bajilion: this might seem like the end of the world, or at the very least, it hurts a lot...but take some solace in the fact that in a few months (or perhaps years) this isn't going to matter at all. It'll be a fleeting memory at most.
For reference, what's 'soft'? Slang for some kind of drug...?
Statistics: Posted by Landerpurex — February 20th, 2012, 11:09 pm
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Actually that kind of thing is fairly normal in this manner of situation.
Ead I don't think you're the person to consult on the normality of violent compulsions.
Statistics: Posted by Christopher — February 20th, 2012, 8:38 pm
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But on the bright side! chicks suck, and the beer is cold.
Enjoy
Statistics: Posted by Market Man6 — February 20th, 2012, 8:18 pm
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