I do know that true love isn't for wimps and it isn't for people who want to feel warm and fuzzy all the time. That being said, it isn't all bad either or "compromising to the point were no one is really happy". At least it shouldn't be. It does takes work. For both people. Each person brings their own expectations and their own baggage into a relationship. Life can throw crushing blows at both people. The honeymoon stage does fade. The ones who make it are the ones who can figure out how to endure and navigate through the stage 4 through 7's and get back to some of that honeymoon atmosphere sometimes. Any long term relationship goes through cycles but people who are in it for the long run don't give up during the lonely, boring, fighting or merely tolerating stages. They stick with it, even if a bad stage lasts for years, in the hope that love will change and grow and because they are committed and know that there are benefits to a life together with someone who knows you so intimately.
Statistics: Posted by Zilla — September 30th, 2011, 9:42 pm
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Statistics: Posted by Phantomrose — September 29th, 2011, 9:53 pm
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Phantomrose wrote:
Defeat wrote:
I'm not sure. What are they? Enlighten me.
Hmm, I'll try to explain the best to my ability.
There's the first stage: The honeymoon stage. Everyone goes through this. A person gets butterflies and positive thoughts everytime (s)he thinks about the person (s)he is in love with. The two people cannot wait to see each other, cannot get enough of each other, wants to tell it to the world, etc. It is basically all the good things that come with being in love for the first time, or falling in love.
Then there is the settlement stage: It has been a couple months, or maybe even a few years and the people are used to each other by now. There may be some small arguements, or disagreements but they know that they still love each other. I think at this point things start to become a bit more routine for both people.
Future stage: It's been a while, and the two people are starting to think about the future. They share their goals/ambitions with each other, and they go over both the positive and negative things about the relationships. They discuss things that they would have to work on, things they would have to compromise, etc. For some couples, maybe they are starting to fall out of love with each other and have to talk things out. For others, maybe there is more, such as marriage/growing old together.
That's as far as my thinking process will go for the stages for now. It's about 3:21am over here. I hope that is a somewhat good explanation.
I agree there are also different kinds of love: platonic, romantic, unconditional, etc. I am also starting to believe in soul mates and whatnot. Things like this interest me!
Interesting. Yeah, I suppose that is what I'm talking about, in a way. It's all very chemical.
[youtube]tSdELZxEnHY[/youtube]
Statistics: Posted by J@nr0k — September 29th, 2011, 4:33 pm
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Defeat wrote:
I'm not sure. What are they? Enlighten me.
Hmm, I'll try to explain the best to my ability.
There's the first stage: The honeymoon stage. Everyone goes through this. A person gets butterflies and positive thoughts everytime (s)he thinks about the person (s)he is in love with. The two people cannot wait to see each other, cannot get enough of each other, wants to tell it to the world, etc. It is basically all the good things that come with being in love for the first time, or falling in love.
Then there is the settlement stage: It has been a couple months, or maybe even a few years and the people are used to each other by now. There may be some small arguements, or disagreements but they know that they still love each other. I think at this point things start to become a bit more routine for both people.
Future stage: It's been a while, and the two people are starting to think about the future. They share their goals/ambitions with each other, and they go over both the positive and negative things about the relationships. They discuss things that they would have to work on, things they would have to compromise, etc. For some couples, maybe they are starting to fall out of love with each other and have to talk things out. For others, maybe there is more, such as marriage/growing old together.
That's as far as my thinking process will go for the stages for now. It's about 3:21am over here. I hope that is a somewhat good explanation.
I agree there are also different kinds of love: platonic, romantic, unconditional, etc. I am also starting to believe in soul mates and whatnot. Things like this interest me!
Interesting. Yeah, I suppose that is what I'm talking about, in a way. It's all very chemical.
Statistics: Posted by Spirographed — September 29th, 2011, 3:20 pm
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I'm not sure. What are they? Enlighten me.
Hmm, I'll try to explain the best to my ability.
There's the first stage: The honeymoon stage. Everyone goes through this. A person gets butterflies and positive thoughts everytime (s)he thinks about the person (s)he is in love with. The two people cannot wait to see each other, cannot get enough of each other, wants to tell it to the world, etc. It is basically all the good things that come with being in love for the first time, or falling in love.
Then there is the settlement stage: It has been a couple months, or maybe even a few years and the people are used to each other by now. There may be some small arguements, or disagreements but they know that they still love each other. I think at this point things start to become a bit more routine for both people.
Future stage: It's been a while, and the two people are starting to think about the future. They share their goals/ambitions with each other, and they go over both the positive and negative things about the relationships. They discuss things that they would have to work on, things they would have to compromise, etc. For some couples, maybe they are starting to fall out of love with each other and have to talk things out. For others, maybe there is more, such as marriage/growing old together.
That's as far as my thinking process will go for the stages for now. It's about 3:21am over here. I hope that is a somewhat good explanation.
I agree there are also different kinds of love: platonic, romantic, unconditional, etc. I am also starting to believe in soul mates and whatnot. Things like this interest me!
Statistics: Posted by Phantomrose — September 29th, 2011, 1:23 am
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There's the type of unconditional love parents give their kids. That's probably the purest form of love for me, parents willing to do anything to ensure their kids are safe and happy.Sometimes it's even overdone and turns harmful. It's really a shame that kids don't always love their parents back the same way...
There's friend love, too. BROMANCE, haha. Kinda like to love someone vs being in love with someone, i guess. Good friends are hard to come by, but when you've got one or two, they'll be there for you through thick and thin and that's something you should never let go of.
And then there's romance love. It's hard to find, but it exists and it can tear you apart if things don't work out. I'm sorry for you loss, Yousif, that just straight up blows. It's good to see you're moving on, she wouldn't want you to be all sad, but to be happy
But when all is said and done, I LOVE LAMP.
-Phat
Statistics: Posted by Phat Hobo — September 28th, 2011, 7:47 pm
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Love, eh? As in, romance? Oh, that would be a lifelong heart-rending boot up the arse that at best results in a dissatisfying compromise but usually dissipates or ends badly sooner or later.
It ain't all sunshine and lollipops, kids.
Considering the first post ends with a suicide, is there any reason you felt compelled to state this?
Statistics: Posted by LondonLooter — September 28th, 2011, 11:36 am
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Yousif, you can't lump love and marriage together...I've loved and known I wouldn't end up marrying her.
That said...I think love is ever changing and different for everyone. Personally, every girl/woman I have loved I have loved in different ways. To me it isn't an all encompassing state mind, it's unique to each experience. I also believe that love changes as you experience it, fall out of it, and experience it again....almost like a desensitization (which happens with almost everything you'll ever experience).
Hmm, kind of like there are different stages of love right?
Statistics: Posted by Phantomrose — September 28th, 2011, 8:38 am
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That said...I think love is ever changing and different for everyone. Personally, every girl/woman I have loved I have loved in different ways. To me it isn't an all encompassing state mind, it's unique to each experience. I also believe that love changes as you experience it, fall out of it, and experience it again....almost like a desensitization (which happens with almost everything you'll ever experience).
Statistics: Posted by Spirographed — September 27th, 2011, 11:33 pm
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Love, eh? As in, romance? Oh, that would be a lifelong heart-rending boot up the arse that at best results in a dissatisfying compromise but usually dissipates or ends badly sooner or later.
It ain't all sunshine and lollipops, kids.
Sounds like my last relationship. . . You know her too ? Agreed it generally doesn't end well, but that's what marriage / love is . . compromising to the point were no one is really happy, they are just simply content with the outcome. .
Statistics: Posted by Yousif — September 27th, 2011, 12:56 am
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Love isn't just about loving someone, it's having someone who can also be the best friend at the same time.
I agree with this!
Statistics: Posted by Phantomrose — September 27th, 2011, 12:38 am
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Or maybe that's unhealthy obsession. I stopped being able to tell years ago.
Statistics: Posted by Christopher — September 26th, 2011, 11:55 pm
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It ain't all sunshine and lollipops, kids.
Statistics: Posted by Eadwulf — September 26th, 2011, 11:26 pm
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Love isn't just about loving someone, it's having someone who can also be the best friend at the same time.
This is a very important statement and I am very happy you said it. I simply cannot explain my experiences beyond what this quote encompasses.
Statistics: Posted by Blackmage172 — September 26th, 2011, 11:04 pm
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@Simons pure, Each to there own bud haha. . . India would be a perfect place for you and your lamp.
@Rory, exactly mate, if it's all just sexual feelings, it simply won't go no where. . I mean you'd be able to do things, but never get to know each other and it just simply ends there.
Statistics: Posted by Yousif — September 26th, 2011, 10:45 pm
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A young Landerpurex wrote:
Love is when you put someone else before yourself 100% of the time without thinking about it. Love is missing that person the minute you walk out their door. Love is being there for someone no matter what. Love is never being judgmental, always being tolerable. Love is changing or bettering yourself to make your significant other happy. Love is being loved. Love is recognizing a person's faults, but not caring about them. Love is about caring, passion, compassion, understanding, and patience.
Love is acknowledging and coming to terms with the fact that you know nothing about love, and you never will.
As for true love, I can't be sure. My first serious relationship lasted for 4.5 years, through high school and part of college, through a pregnancy and a gorgeous baby girl, only to see it ultimately end in my significant other's cheating on me with a woman and then dumping me for said woman.
That said, you can understand my skepticism of this 'love' concept. But I am not the kind of person that gives up. Rather than sink into a crippling depression from which I would never return, I picked myself up and got back out there. I soon came to know a fabulous girl, quite the opposite of my ex. My assumption was that there were no such women in the world...you know...ones who were capable of compromise, stimulation in every sense of the word, and most importantly, unconditional love.
So yeah, our one year anniversary is coming up in less than a month and I couldn't be happier. In short, I believe true love exists because I've found it.
Statistics: Posted by Landerpurex — September 26th, 2011, 1:55 pm
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