The Three Brothers

By Pillow

Do you know the REAL reason why the wilderness was terminated? I didn’t think so! If you will let me, I’ll fill you in on some details of the correct assumption logic about why the wilderness was taken away from us players.

You know the Runescape gods - Saradomin, Zamorak and Guthix? Well, they are actually brothers! They really are and they've been acting up again! Furious about the new “Grand Exchange” since they liked good ol’ merchanting, they decided to do something about it. Of course, if they starting doing some mass murdering in Falador or another fabled city, they were going to be stripped of their power for sure. So, in a moment of intelligence, Guthix thought they should kill some people in the wilderness. "Why yes!" The other two exclaimed, "that would be perfect!"

They sat down and started thinking about where they could wreak more havoc - they did some serious brainstorming. In the end they chose to go to the Greater Demons. Many excellent players killed Greater Demons, seeing as weaker players would run in fear. The 3 Gods marched their way there, collecting many looks of confusion from a great number of players. All received a zap from Saradomin if they showed any signs of disapproval to the Gods. Other than that, they were unchallenged.

Finally arriving after a long trek, for an unknown reason many people left. Weird huh? Only 13 people remained. Sadly, only 7 had full rune, but 6 of the 7 had powerful-looking whips. The Gods liked the look of these. It takes exactly 3 hits for Saradomin to kill a player, as is apparant with Guthix. Zamorak however, needs only 2 hits. So within 10 seconds every player at the lesser demons laydead on the floor, their souls floating up to heaven.

The disgruntled players got right onto Jagex and within minutes, were rapidly scribbling out letters of complaints about how the corrupt Gods were stealing their items. With this Jagex had had enough - the wilderness was no more!

Jagex brainstormed some ideas to replace the wilderness, the one that came out on top was of course Bounty Hunter.

Bounty Hunter was similar to the wilderness. You just had a smaller area, with a higher density of players. This made for more intense combat situations.

Anyway, the 3 Runescape Gods decided to go and try out this game for themselves. They arrived at the volcano and excitedly ran into the high crater and began zapping away at the innocent Runescape players. They made the perfect team. Within just a week, they had topped the rogue Leader-Board.

As you might imagine, Jagex had complaints pouring in from all sides. It might also be known as “Player Pressure.” Be sure to expect some changes in the future!